Yar, there be hockey AND fish sticks here!

Handball is cool

I watch pretty much all of Cobaltstreak’s BoI videos on YouTube. I find it fascinating to watch.

I have a feeling that my performance would improve by having sex with Kate Upton.

How can a fucking place called Iceland not like hockey?

“I’m a stay-at-home model, and Mark works part time at a local kombucha brewery. Our budget is $1.2 million.”

Also, anyone that says “Barthelona” is immediately unfriended.

Are we talking about Gronk or the dog?

Malicious personal attacks are kinda what sports radio is all about. The Kings totally bitched to the station execs.

Getting hit by a car

Usually I stop masturbating and watch it.

How do you define “unneccessary?”

The weather also sucks and the Cardinals are assholes.

What the fuck kind of dodgeball is that?

My wife bought a package of spaetzle noodles. Noodles fucking ain’t spaetzle, wife!

he spent his whole life eating nothing but red cabbage and veal testicle sausage, and scoffing at any other form of sustenance.

Sports trophies should be replaced with beer boots.

Dat coat, tho.

He’s the Macklemore of MMA

Does that really look like the face of a rapist?