It consistently thinks I’m older than I am. It’s funny because in real life people always think I’m younger than I am. I’m mad at that site because it made me realize how attached to my youth I really am. I thought I had accepted aging and all that but apparently not.

I just tried a picture of me when I was 19 or 20 and it said 45. I am giving that site the silent treatment now.

THANK YOU.

I think the engraved flatware is a super old fashioned gift, my parents have a couple pieces from their own parents’ sets.

I get that everyone’s digestive system is different. It was just that she seemed to simply be weirded out by the fact that I was eating poultry for breakfast (and not even a particularly early breakfast either as we start work at 8:30). Like my choice of morning meat was wrong. Which I found funny because people eat…

I always empty my bladder at least twice before boarding. I’ve never used an airplane bathroom and I hope I never have to! But I’ve also never been on any international flights.

DUDE I KNOW. It’s mind boggling!

There is a terrifyingly large number of them who are proud of it. The mayor of the small town I grew up in is an old classmate of mine. He was a little crust punk kid in those days but now he’s a born again Christian. He has publicly said many times that he relies on his Christianity to make decisions for the city. He…

Thank God It’s Feticide!

Chicken is delicious for any meal! I really wanted to say to her, “You’re snarking on my chicken but if I were eating bacon or sausage you wouldn’t say a word.”

Sweet jeebus.

I microwaved some leftover chicken breast the other day at about 10:30am and a coworker walked into my office while I was eating it and said, “Oh, chicken for breakfast? Ok...” I stopped mid-chew, looked at her and, after a pause, very seriously said, “Yes.” and continued to look at her until she started talking about…

French fries. So many french fries.

My mom would give us little treats in our lunches if we kept our rooms clean or got a good grade on a test. Screw that school.

“Turns out idiocy is bipartisan.”

I’m also betting half a mil would go a long way in increasing access to accurate sex education and birth control.

I can only assume that people are gonna be hiding in that closet now. “People” being idiots from the internet who heard about the closet and think they’re being funny or clever or something.

The lower peninsula is only connected to the rest of the US at the bottom (Ohio/Indiana border) and the upper is only connected to Wisconsin. If you zoom in far enough in google maps you’ll see that neither is connected to Canada. They are both peninsulas.

Holy shit that’s terrifying.

Conservatives love saying that women always regret their abortions. They will maintain that even if you don’t regret it now, or next year, or in ten years... eventually you will. Which, to them, is a valid reason to have a baby. To a reasonable person it’s a load of bullshit, but they’re hoping that the threat of…