First, yes I am. Grew up there and went to college in Tuscaloosa. Second, I live in Tennessee now so I couldn’t vote in that election but did everything I could to help Doug Jones win (and he did). But I appreciate how much you dislike me ‘cause I’m from here. ‘Preciate ya.

Eat shit.

Hot take: Alydar.

RIDING HIS HORSE WHEN HE FELL OFF AND WAS STEPPED ON BY HORSE ON PENIS

They really like Ike?

“BURNS TO PENIS. PATIENT STRUCK A MATCH TO A CUP OF GASOLINE THAT EXPLODED”

Your telling me. He prefers a filly.

Which is why you wear an armband around it in remembrance, and by armband I mean spiked cock ring.

Barry’s mom:

When I hear “enormous disruptions in the video programming industry”, should I be reading that as “this could potentially open the door for a la carte cable packages and we don’t want that to happen”?

I thought that moment came when I stopped caring about new music and invested in a khaki-colored jacket.

I’m also not a fan of my wife fucking other people as a professional job.

Feels like you’re reaching (around). Hehe.

This is also exactly how the cat instagrammer community works, except instead of being sad and circle-jerky, it is amazing because everyone just loves everyone else’s cats. It’s probably the nicest place on the internet.

I call shenanigans. They’re in cahoots together to create social media drama and drive traffic.

I hate to tell you, Emma, but Heath Evans is a goldurn Christian.

There are problems with the alcohol laws in the US though.

Don’t you mean “Hair of the BLOOD of Christ?”

Big star for “Hair of the Lamb of Christ”

Nah, they don’t let you have that much of it and there’s always lil “bits o’ christ” floating around in there from the people who fucking refuse to swallow their body wafers before drinking the wine. Backwash city