ALABAMA MAN!!!!

Any man who gets arrested without a shirt on for doing something stupid is a native a Floridian at heart.

Florida is more a state of mind than a literal state. 

Florida Man is perfectly viable as a term, don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Not gonna lie that's pretty awesome.

Next to a free bird seed sign?

They sit in the passenger seat and play with the radio incessantly.

He’s exemplifying the president’s stance, that keeping the economy running for the sake of the CEOs (more than the shareholders) is more important than a few hundred thousand to a million deaths.

Lest we forget.

Pence: So Mother’s prize double ended dildo is this big. We call it Cum to Jesus and use it at the same time to get right with the Lord.

muse (v) “to reflect, ponder, meditate; to be absorbed in thought,” mid-14c., from Old French muser (12c.) “to ponder, dream, wonder; loiter, waste time,” which is of uncertain origin; the explanation in Diez and Skeat is literally “to stand with one’s nose in the air” (or, possibly, “to sniff about” like a dog who…

I bet Trump wishes he came up the excuse of “musings” instead of “sarcasm”. As a matter of fact I bet that he wishes he knew what the word “musings” meant.

A press conference is not the time or place for his freeform bullshit “musings” This dumb motherfucker is too dumb to know how embarrassed he should be of his rank ignorance. Normally I’d say there’s no such thing as a dumb question but (gestures emphatically at the moron-in-chief).

“It bothers me that this is still in the news cycle, because I think we’re missing the bigger pieces of what we need to be doing as an American people, to continue to protect one another,” Birx said in a CNN interview Sunday. She similarly declined to denounce the president’s dangerous comments in an appearance on NBC’…

I currently live in Long Beach (Belmont Shores), about 2 blocks from the beach. During the quarantine, we’ve been taking after-dinner walks to a beach parking lot to watch the sunset (while practicing social distancing). I started to notice more ships being parked offshore about 2 weeks ago. Last night, it was really…

Damn Centaurs.

Astronomers think they’ve found an entire population of asteroids humanoids originating from outside our solar democratic system.

why are you demanding Jeff Bezos become the social safety net that the government has failed to provide? That’s not Jeff’s responsibility or obligation.

I can’t believe how different the British version of his shows are from the American, they’re so much better! He really, genuinely, cares about the people and the restaurant that he’s rehabbing, and there’s less forced confrontation and yelling. 

Is there a “hack” to remove the raisins from the oatmeal cookie dough?