Fuck you, idiot. I look forward to the time that some farmer sees you dumping your shit on his land and shoots you. But it’ll be ok cause you’ll biodegrade.

Straight6? That’s cute. I guess you put ‘em where you can’t fit the straight8:

The trailer is full of gas, routed into the tank with an umbilical. So stop for gas every 50 miles.

A FWD Old Toronado with the ass-end hacked off and a car carrier welded into place:

I will vote for any candidate, even Trump, if they swear on their mother’s (actual) blood to pass legislation allowing us to kick in the balls anyone who uses the term “the singularity”. For women who use it, surgery will be slated to install a pair of testicles that, once healed, will be solidly kicked.

Ah, but you’re assuming I WANT to talk to strange people at parties. Even worse, who in hell would want to string out a conversation with a drunk. I’m more interested in getting them to shut the hell up.

You never drank from a garden hose as a kid, did you?

“idiots who pay 50 bucks to get a star named after their cat.??”

At this point I’d say it’s time to engineer a comeback.

This exhaust does not “exit the car ahead of the rear wheels.” This exhaust exits the car upon the rear wheels.

“I would attest that their attention to detail is the best in the world when it comes to bikes. Driving a vehicle is just as much of an aesthetic experience as it is a functional one, especially for motorcycles...”

Just keep in mind that the connectors on various cables are built for a limited number of connections/disconnections. For instance, the old VGA/SVGA/etcVGA connectors were rated to work for something like 50 connect/disconnects. I dont’ know what the microUSB is rated for, but they should be considered expendable…

Well, in general I don’t have much sympathy unless its for dogs and cats (I mean, just look at these furry little faces)

Cause they allow babies on board aircraft and those disgusting little bags of feces and howling are infinitely worse than any dog.

This would do it pretty well, too:

The Ginger Hammer will not rest until every single one of Tom Brady’s balls undergoes proper testing!

But what the pictures don’t show is the carefully brushed diamond-tufted velvet interiors and each and every damn dashboard sporting one a’ these bad boys:

Every time I manage to fly back home to Denver for a visit, I have to forcibly stop myself from sneaking out there and taping a giant red blinking light on his dong.

Just keep in mind that the same city that brought you Bluecifer also brought you this guy: