“Hello?” is literally how they tell you to answer the phone in kindergarten. “KYLE WAGNER” is how they tell you to answer the phone at business school for babies.

This will be the one out of who knows how many O2 sensors that will never fail. Only the ones that require a contortionist to reach are the ones that fail

Well they have to pay for it somehow.

Cheez Whiz wienies? Piffle. It’s fried Cheez Whiz Wienies.

“What if the bad guys used LASERS to blind everyone at an airport at ONCE?! And then all the planes crashed and were like WHAAARRRGMMBOOOOMMMM!!”

Keeps the brain-eating ameoba out.
Dude’s a survivor.

♪♪ “ Losing feeling in my hands...” ♪♪

No fair, you changed the text by reading it!

While the Bandit Flag screams "Wine 'em, Dine 'em, Sixty-nine 'em!"

Premier Putin relayed the question to me via spetsnaz trained sea otters from his underwater sea base off of Sevastopol where is is singlehandedly sinking NATO Arleigh Burke Class Destroyers with his nozh razvedchika knife, I am sorry if such is unacceptable to ask from here.

Im offended by toyota camrys! Can we ban the camrys? Can that be a thing? Nobody likes camrys anyways!

Well in his defense, all kids are assholes.

Change your name, abandon kids, buy Miata, it’s always the answer

At least I know my undercover life as a frotteur won’t be reduced to tawdry sex-taping when my home is raided & the footage is seized.

I don’t need all this cause I take mine to a Faith Mechanic.

Tell it like it is. Monfort needs to sell the team for the team to make any strides. Fuck the ownership for sure.

Clearly the answer is Miata and $50,000 worth of upgrades.

This shit started after 9/11. Talk about letting the terrorists win.