Ah, but you’re assuming I WANT to talk to strange people at parties. Even worse, who in hell would want to string out a conversation with a drunk. I’m more interested in getting them to shut the hell up.

You never drank from a garden hose as a kid, did you?

“idiots who pay 50 bucks to get a star named after their cat.??”

At this point I’d say it’s time to engineer a comeback.

This exhaust does not “exit the car ahead of the rear wheels.” This exhaust exits the car upon the rear wheels.

“I would attest that their attention to detail is the best in the world when it comes to bikes. Driving a vehicle is just as much of an aesthetic experience as it is a functional one, especially for motorcycles...”

Just keep in mind that the connectors on various cables are built for a limited number of connections/disconnections. For instance, the old VGA/SVGA/etcVGA connectors were rated to work for something like 50 connect/disconnects. I dont’ know what the microUSB is rated for, but they should be considered expendable…

Well, in general I don’t have much sympathy unless its for dogs and cats (I mean, just look at these furry little faces)

Cause they allow babies on board aircraft and those disgusting little bags of feces and howling are infinitely worse than any dog.

This would do it pretty well, too:

The Ginger Hammer will not rest until every single one of Tom Brady’s balls undergoes proper testing!

But what the pictures don’t show is the carefully brushed diamond-tufted velvet interiors and each and every damn dashboard sporting one a’ these bad boys:

Every time I manage to fly back home to Denver for a visit, I have to forcibly stop myself from sneaking out there and taping a giant red blinking light on his dong.

Just keep in mind that the same city that brought you Bluecifer also brought you this guy:

Fuck Jimmy Johnson with a 6month supply of his own hair-care products. That slimy cork-soaker is the epitome of Dallas Cowboy, a moral-less simpleton who is willing to screw over anybody in order to win but once he’s busted will skate without taking any responsibility. I truly hoped that he and Jerry would create a…

I’ll grant you the “better than Dallas” but then everybody, even San Antonio beats Dallas and it’s a festering shit-hole.

Yeah, but 3 days later it was 45degrees and sunny.

Way to come through with the cheerleader gif! Of course, between this and the constant daily presentations for Jalop CoD, I shudder to think what the softcore pr0n file on your desktop looks like.

The Stockyard and tasty cows are the only positive. But at least when I’m traversing 35 I can cut to 35W and avoid the Dallas stank.