That rug really tied the room together, Dude.

Considering the culture in which we live, if that's the dumbest thing you've ever heard then you're living a charmed life. On a given day I've heard 4 dumber things that that by the time I've sat down at my desk.

Personally, I prefer cougars.

One word:
Morlocks

But in their defense, "Vomited Vole Carcass" flavored chips would still be better than Vinegar/Salt chips.

Morlocks are a'comin' for our 'Vettes!!

My first thought was "Those wacky Swedish bastards now how to have fun." But my second thought was "If they hadn't spent all their Kroner screwing around with pulling sleds behind jet fighters then maybe they coulda saved SAAB."

Kroner

I'm 6'1" and about 280 (yeah, I know...) and i daily drive a NB. Fits like a glove.

But did you buy the matching fro-wig?

You missed the single biggest one: Look at the camera, not the monitor.You're supposed to be relating to the human on the far-end, not the equipment on the near-end.

Skip the checkerboard contact paper; use woodgrain contact paper and troll Jalopnik meet-ups.

You left of the first and most important tip which is to TALK WITH YOUR VET. If little Skippy needs care you can't afford, talk with them about options. They may be able to offer options but only if they know your needs.
Also, never just say "I can't afford that, put him to sleep."

Ok, at first glance I read your comment as :
"euthanasia enthusiast"

He also bought an old movie theater in Santa Fe, the Jean Cocteau, which had been an art-house theater and has turned it into a geek's dream. On Mondays, Jan-March, they are running a Game of Thrones (seasons 1-3) marathon, free to get in, of course. It's worth checking out...

Leavenworth, eh? Did they give him the Michael Vick suite?

That stuff's amateur.

They made it out of the "not real concrete" that the mob contractors used on the Boston Big Dig project, obviously...

Yeah, but until there is a Federal declaration of "Steak and Blowjob Night" the weekend prior to Valentines, it's the guys who are the primary screwee for February...

You left a big "Time we blow more money than we should" out that's very pertinent: