You can have your mamby-pamby little guns; I've got sharks with lasers on their heads.

Yeah, the generic "LS" swap is definitely played out. A crate 5.8 would have been much tastier for this Italian-American

I'd like to go back to last Saturday night and challenge that call I made to my ex-girlfriend from college after knocking back half a bottle of Tito's.

You forgot one:

Carrion, my wayward son.

Herbert Kornfeld, office gangsta, approves.

My goofball border collie, Lola, is my alarm clock. She's punctual, doesn't have snooze, elevates the alarm intensity over (a very short) time and provides an instant reward when I get up and out of bed by wagging her tail and being excited.

So, to reinforce how dangerous the road was, this genius decides to record it with his/her phone while driving? I hope they wind up eating the same ditch as the road-raging Floridian F250 pilot.

A true Jalop spends their time polishing turds...

I think the rollbars were likely cut off by the first responders trying to rescue the driver.

That just means you have to aim more carefully and hit them on the fly rather than trust to glass shrapnel to take out the little pudding gobblers...

Yeah. If there weren't a million POV videos from 170mph TT runs through the island, then this little jaunt on much slower, much lower karts would have been more impressive.

CHEMTRAILS!!! All y'all are being mind controlled by them chemtrails!!

Because when they were chugging brews, they didn't hold their pinkies up. Duh.

Miata, duh!

Any clunky old Grandma car, like the Crown Vic:

Well next time the Warriors are in San Antonio, we'll just make them stay at the Menger, across from the Alamo aka "the most haunted hotel in Texas:

Having kids is by far the most carbon/pollution intensive thing anyone could do. I don't have any so I'm free to use all the resources I want and still be holier than thou.

What if he dunks the decapitated head of his defeated opponent?