And once things get sorted out, relax and have a Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster. Do try to avoid the poetry at all costs, though.

That's the Dick Cheney Limited Edition one...

Yeah! You can't go around expecting us to think or make any effort to understand the situation or anything. This is the internet: you must entertain us without us having to expend energy or think.

Mind your cornhole.

lazy bastards coulda just left the top down and put 'em in the package tray...

If you can't fit a normal-sized adult in the trunk of a Miata then you're not chopping them finely enough.

I discipline my children by not having them in the first place.

It will be interesting if they do a crate version. It might be able to compete with the Suzuki Haybusa motor in "off-license" type installations, kits and such.

I like to have two girls with me. That way, if there's any conversation, I don't have to be a part of it.

um... The idiot judge who let the rich kid off cause he was raised to not understand the results of his actions WAS in Houston.

That's one of the reasons why I love the high plateau. You get elevation and sight-lines to the horizon. Also the green chile, of course.

When i was growing up in NW Oklahoma, retired school buses were usually converted into hay-haulers doing just this. They'd chop away everything above the deck, leaving only the driver's station, then add a hydraulic-controlled bale scoop/elevator.

Wasn't there something on Lifehacker the other day about hand sanitizer having an ingredient that would set off the explosives detector? Considering the funge that's going around Central Texas right now (not quite the flu but leaves you wanting to die for about 6-7 days) I bet the Whole Foods Hippies at SxSW were…

I'm partial to the Tao, NM Rio Grand Gorge Bridge, myself. It's graceful and unintrusive, letting the beauty of the high mesa bisected by the 800' deep gorge speak for itself.

I'm willing to be it was an automatic.

"Let's note that there's a difference between nuanced humor about processes (Lifehacker), amusing anecdotes about fishing (Deadspin), and dick jokes (Jalopnik)."

This is serious juicing:

These look like Chips Ahoy...

Alternatively, set a "DUMP YOUR FIANCEE, SHE'S A NEEDY GRASPING DRAMA QUEEN" alarm for, well, right now...