I like the cut a' yer jib!

I prefer to do tech training with allegory...

Two words:
Donner Party

You're just bitter because Bunny is screwing around on you...

A friend up Round Rock way said that the problem was that the precipitation was happening early but the freezing temps didn't hit till after school/work began so you now have Austinites trapped away from their homes, iPhone chargers and closets full of skinny jeans.

How about:
Hi Mr. McCartney. I can't help but notice that in every live performance I've seen by you in the last 10yrs or so it seems like you really don't want to be there. Why not, while you're performing for your fans or the camera, try to act like it's not a terrible imposition to have to actually play music and…

Trust me on this. If you're a guesser who only asks for help when it's really needed you don't want to marry a woman (or a man I assume) who believes in constantly asking for help regardless of how trivial the task.

That's not a longhorn, that's a Houston Texans logo. This nails that egg down as being a Houston resident, cause nobody outside of Houston would be willing or able to find that sticker.

4 words:
Suck. It. Up. Buttercup.

obviously you've never lived outside of Texas, cause I have and this god-forsaken state has the worst traffic engineering anywhere I've been. Combine just plain bad design with piss-poor driver training and abilities and you wind up with the cluster flop that is SA traffic. Can't drive in daylight but get worse in…

Um... Is she from Texas by any chance?

What good would that do? Texas cops are among the worst drivers in the state as evidenced by their complete lack of ability and understanding of traffic laws in SA...

That can't be right.

I like to use " 'P' as in psychologist".

Also, everybody needs to learn that there's no such thing as a "Fast" lane; it's actually a "Passing " lane and it doesn't matter how "fast" or "slow" you're going, you should only occupy it if you're passing someone...

Dispose? Why dispose when you can dissolve?
We learned from Breaking Bad to use hyrdroflouric acid and to be sure and use a polyethylene tub cause it'll eat through the one in your bathroom...

I live in San Antonio; where are these "adequate freeways" of which you speak? The traffic engineering in this town is a total joke. That's why they're having to retrofit interchanges onto 10 and 35 between all the loops and big roads (they just got most of the interchange at 281/1604 done). Since they have to…

Ha! I grew up in Oklahoma: We mess with Texas.

Ft Sam Houston in San Antonio was closed till 10am. The roads by then were fine though overpasses, of which there are a metric ass-load in town, were still slick. It took me over an hour to make it the 12 miles to work courtesy of having to circle around two closed bridges (not overpasses, bridges) and one…

Jesus was my copilot, but we crashed in the Andes and I was forced to eat him...