This makes no sense.

“unprecedented production hang-ups”

“The driver of the SUV was a 77-year-old man who thought the vehicle was in reverse, when he hit the accelerator and was in drive instead.”

That depends; what sort of hat has that starting center been seen wearing?

“...actually decided to bring Gunn back several months ago...”

Judging by the time stamps, I’d say somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 minutes.

Hey, he at least got to be in one Aladdin movie. How about me? I’ve never gotten to be in any Aladdin movies, even really weird ones made by hipster musicians.

You’re all doing this wrong!

“Do I think that’s a big deal? No. Do I think it was said somewhat tongue-in-cheek? Of course.”

“...rich people have been using their money to get things they don’t necessarily deserve. Those entitled motherfuckers! (Sorry, we’re still just in shock that rich people would do something so unseemly.)“

Yes, me making a mild joke about the seeming disingenuousness of blanketly shitting on rich people while writing articles almost exclusively about them, some of them quite fawning, is somehow “gargling billionaire cock.”

Speaking of Lifetime, I was talking about this story last night with my girlfriend and said that if I was a Lifetime executive, the script for her story in all this college admission mess would be half written by now, and that you could probably get Lori Loughlin to play herself in the movie. She replied that Loughlin …

Are you really questioning the intrinsic Loughlinacity she brings to the role? The complex, textured Loughlinatude with which she inhabits, ne, defines that part? The bold, singular Loughliquinity...

Lighten up, Francis.

Bleh, rich people.  Why can’t we talk instead about all those working class Joes and Josephines we love so much, like rappers and people who star in superhero movies?

God, the headline was bad enough, but then I find out it’s Dijon mustard? One can not bleck enough.

I’m in if it’s a direct (albeit gender swapped) remake of this:

Eh, I think you may be off on this, because the headline wasn’t “Smollett pleads not guilty to charges for allegedly faking attack” it’s “Smollett pleads not guilty to charges for faking alleged attack.” The allegation is his, not the state’s.  You know what I mean?

I think putting this through the prism of racism is ultimately too limiting and not the real issue. I believe we live in a false flag culture, regardless of what flag you’re flying. Working with the engine that is social media, there is a much larger breadth to a lie’s dissemination and a bigger payoff for one that…

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more pronounced case of Doofus Face in American politics.