Fictional characters: Sean Newell's girlfriend

Such a shame to see Blackmon throw his career away to drugs. Why couldn't he just beat his fiancée instead?

"large in stature and athletically fit" is my new favorite euphemism for black

go fuck yourself.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

The first rule of CrossFit is you do not stop talking about CrossFit.

Now all that's missing is for Andrew Bynum to return to the Cavs to give his 15%.

I know Brazil felt entitled to win this World Cup, seeing as they were hosts and all, but you can't always get what you want.

I heard this happens every time Marge Schott looks down upon her beloved Reds.

+1 Spamtastic

"Oh, so now its okay."

I understand... and feel bad about the joke.

you're doing God's work sir.

I need oven mitts to handle this take

Not his fault. White males just aren't used to overcoming barriers.

Bless you, Barry. Finally a story I'm not embarrassed to explain to my 7-year-old.

I always laugh when Deadspin commenters — who won't hesitate to shit on any- and everything, no matter how inappropriate or regardless of what pain it might cause the target — suddenly get self-righteous. Fuck all you hypocrites.

you oversensitive fucks! that was funny.

Looks like Jessica won by a foot