I could have worn the hell out of this dress on my wedding day. With my red hair and light blue Irish groom... Mwah!

Practicing Catholic here... One of our eucharistic ministers nursed her newborn in the front pew during the homily this week. No lightening bolts, no pearls clutched, no fire and brimstone. Small Catholic win. (We needed one this week.)

My day will not be complete until I get to call someone a "greasy-haired shitweasel". I cannot thank you enough.

Sorry the other commenters have come out with their torches and pitchforks. My husband has a major problem with staying constantly "connected", and I appreciate that you see how merely owning and using a gadget would not add any value to your life. Because - really - it doesn't.

Meth lab inspired by Breaking Bad. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to throw a wedding???

According to my dr. my pregnancy at 35 was a "geriatric pregnancy".

heaven doesn't want 'em and Hell is afraid they'll take over.

More surly than spry, but I guess so. Completely pickled, too, which might also be contributing to her longevity.

Yay! I am going to live longer!

Brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

This is adding to my anxiety about the 20 hour car trip my 9-year-old is making on Saturday-Sunday with my childless in-laws. Gulp.

"Also, Timon is just constantly sticking his entire forearm into Pumbaa's nostril."

My son asked me once what girls had instead of testicles. Keeping it clinical, I replied, "Ovaries". He gave me a weird look. "I thought that was a name for the fancy socks that ladies wear." My turn for the confused look. "No, sweetie. That's 'hosiery'."

"Watch me pull a rabbit out of my..." AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!

His penis was hanging out through the little flap.

My harassment story is actually retail, not service related.

I read that as "Jude Law" and was confused.

My panties just flew across the room.

Thank you.

How did I body shame anyone? I can't speak for anyone else, but I can safely say that my sons are pretty damn pleased with their penises, even though my husband and I made a decision to have their foreskins removed based on researching the pros and cons (data available 12 years ago) and consulting with their…