I would love to see Jon Stewart interview Pope Francis.

The sound when you vurp (throw up a little in the back of your mouth).

Thanks. I try.

How is anyone going to look at this picture and know that it's Katy (hork) Perry without any visible cleavage?

I was 21 y/o and engaged to an older guy (27?). His parents had a condo on the beach in Myrtle Beach, so we decided to go there for the long weekend. The first night we were there fiance and dad went out drinking and left me home with his mom to watch "ET". We cried together and it was wonderful. Next night, finance,…

If I did, I would never leave the house again.

"Otiose" is my word of the day. Thank you.

If I don't get fired today it will be a miracle.

Good thing they didn't look at the last name on your card. "Schwartz". You might have been stoned.

My story doesn't hold a candle to the others (huntsman spiders... GAH!), but the long and short of it is this:

I reserve the right to not be impressed until the dog matches socks.

She is one of the most beautiful women in the world, but I let out a little scream when I saw this picture and couldn't help thinking "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" She looks like a Jackie O. zombie.

In my dreams, Bette Midler lives next door to me and we hang out on lawn chairs in my yard drinking margaritas all summer.

Thank you. I just experienced an orange pekoe nose douche.

Seriously... but I hope that part has been updated.

I loooooooooooove him.

Oh, crap... he looks like my husband!

There was a kid named Caillou at the beach this summer. I had to put my face down on the blanket every time his mother called for him. And he was a beast.

My kids loved the play area when they were smaller (smäller?). Just beware the pink eye! Before you leave, get them to the bäthroom and wäsh their händs! Purell won't cut it!

In regard to the picture of Gag-a: It makes me think that somewhere, there is a very sad, shaved Komondor.