I went to HS with this Mastrangelo chick and her family and I couldnt be less surprised that this is where shes ended up in life. The town is nicknamed Mafia Hts because of how many italians live there (shes lying through her teeth about being 1st generation American though, her parents were born here and went to the…

Brenna Spencer, shooting her pussy off to own the libs.

I hope We Rent Mountain Lions is slightly more responsible.

How many copies of Dark Side of the Moon still sell every year?

when all it really needs to do is come up with new ways to sell people the same games they’ve been buying for 30 years.

Loving the This Girl’s Yearbook Quote extended universe.

This has always been the correct take since before whoever the comedian you’ve cited said anything. It’s fun to make fun of Fieri’s overly exuberant personality and style choices (his competitors on the next food network star competition underestimated him before he absolutely destroyed them because of this) but that…

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives has probably worn out its welcome, but ask any of the restaurant owners that he has visited and they almost universally have great things to say about him, not just about the spike in business, but genuinely say he is encouraging, supportive and genuinely a nice guy in general.

i’m currently trying to binge-watch P&R (currently s3). part of me is angry that i didn’t watch it when it aired (i think i started but just sort of stopped) so i missed out big time. but the other part of me is happy that i can just binge it all with no waiting and no commercials.

I love Amber Ruffin’s sketches. The CVS part of the bit was scorching.

I imagine Papa John telling this story over and over again to anyone who will listen. Hoping for sympathy.  And always using the word because dummies who make crap pizza never learn.

So you put out a jar begging for money then going to insult people who bother to give you a hand out? 

Sure, but that’s pretty much the same thing at say, KFC or Burger King, right?

I feel the same way about other people’s kids... Well, except for the belly rubs and butt scratches... peeps go to jail for that kind of thing..

I never used to care for cats until I met one that had a lot of dog-like qualities to go with his feline ones. That was the best of both worlds and to this day he remains the coolest animal I’ve ever known.

Dogs are great and also parasites. They're the cutest widdle parasites that ever lived, yes they are! Who's a good widdle parasite? 

This movie was predictably stupid, but I thought the first scene was really well done. I was more tense during that scene than I’ve felt watching any movie in a long time, granted, I have pretty serious thalassophobia. Of course, it’s absolutely ridiculous that a Mososaurus would be allowed to live in a lagoon that is…

I’m sorry my description of five people being murdered was insufficiently cheery.

Carolyn’s dismissing the mess in her hotel room...LOL!

Eve literally says she is going to kill Villanelle at Bill’s funeral. “I want to kill her with my bare hands.”