I can understand living in NYC and being afraid of suspicious objects, but when people in the middle of nowhere, in this case Masontown PA, pop. 3,426, think that terrorists would be interested in targeting them, it's clear that we're still in the grips of hysteria.

Yahtzee would have some choice words for this piece.

The Chipotle burrito — a massive, suppository-shaped bundle of vaguely Mexican things, weighing approximately five tons. Most people could not eat a single one in three minutes. Competitive eater Matt Stonie makes it look easy.

I don't think toddlers can read, but it's still a nice thought to write articles geared toward them, Kotaku.

He doesn't defeat them, and Guardia rebounds - Radius wants the Frozen Flame to defeat Guardia, and in one ending, Kid tells the Dragoons that their goal is to defeat Guardia, then Porre.

No, Norris gives her the Hydra Humor. Chrono & Marle only appear as ghost children in Chrono Cross. However, in Lucca's letter (dated after the fall of Guardia), she refers to Chrono & Marle as being alive.

Hopefully your article will give the project the bump it needs! Thanks for posting!

Is that the electric snake you have to beat twice, only to face the army in a third consecutive boss fight? God, I love a difficult game!

Every song I've heard begins with bar chimes, and wherever I skip to in a track, again, I hear bar chimes.

"Tedious" is too kind a word for what happens to your party over the next few chapters. In order to get the game's true ending, you'll have to repeat a series of four dungeons—and four boss battles—five times each. Mitigating this repetition are the user-friendly features—pro tip: switch to easy difficulty; turn off…

If you're having trouble understanding me, just let me know what words or ideas in my previous comment are causing you difficulty, and I'll happily clarify them for you. Do try to be specific.

Captain Neutral spent the better part of a century locked within his Fortress of Ambivalence, deep in the heart of the Swiss Alps, staring at his own poker face in reflection, in search of pure noncommittal sentimentality. The villagers had forgotten all about him, as was their way, and when he finally emerged,…

We're not talking about a loss of anonymity - we're talking about the psychological effects of anonymity, as detailed in the following studies:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1525783…

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.108…

http://link.springer.com/article/10.100…

Or, here's an article that sums it all up:
http://www…

Right, those people are already Total Fuckwads - anonymity evolves them into Uber Fuckwads.

Well, creative liberty is often lost on miserable, hypocritical pedants. Do you ever stop to think why all of your conversations begin and end with you throwing the word "troll" around like there's no tomorrow? Or why you're so bitter, angry, and intent on sharing your negativity? Way off topic, but you seem to have…

This pretty much sums it up:

I think they might be going for a muay thai look.

Kotaku, I want us all to figuratively join hands for a moment, and let's pray – not for Vaer, but for his family, for his co-workers, for anyone who has to deal with him in person on a daily basis, and especially for his significant other, if he has one – God, please give these people the strength they need not to…

No, I'm saying I have better things to do than argue with Professor Wannabe Jr. I'm saying that you have an unfounded superiority complex. I'm saying that you're a pillar of your own imaginary society.

You made a mistake there - Kotaku is a video game blog, not a boring psuedo-intellectual asshole blog.