There’s always the Schiano Proposal. Greg Schiano came up with a plan to replace the kickoff entirely with instead a 4th-and-15 play for the “kicking” team at their own 35-yard line. They can either punt it away, or they can attempt to convert to maintain possession.

Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt

It was a dark and mystical ritual of forgotten black sorcery, and they had to sacrifice RG3's ACL as part of the transaction. And the pact must be regularly eenewed with the blood of a quarterback or Snyder loses his soul for good.

Here’s a suggested rule: If a batter is hit by pitch and the injury forces him out of the game, the pitcher is ejected, too.

... This is a furry thing, isn’t it.

Anyone notice that one of the dudes was offsides?

Yeah yeah, enlarged spleen, yadda yadda yadda, potential for catastrophic internal injury, blah blah blah.

The Browns did accelerate from “objects of pity and scorn” to “subjects of resentment and schadenfreude” in record time. The offseason media hype machine has outdone itself.

Did you know Jimmy Garoppolo once played with Tom Brady in New England? I know, it’s crazy - the media never talks endlessly about this.

The Browns are sorely missing wide receiver Rashard Higgins, out four weeks with a knee injury, and had to make do instead with Antonio Callaway,

Didn’t look intentional. Thomas had his arms raised and made contact with Rudolph’s chest before their heads collided. Rudolph is a good deal taller and was in midair, so his chin impacted the crown of Thomas’ helmet. Rotational trauma caused concussion.

According to a self-described “friend of a friend” posting on Reddit, the dude survived with a bad concussion.

I disagree - Jim Zorn contributed the greatest moment in Skins history in the 21st century.

Tucker was unusually good at getting kickoffs to land outside the endzone today - but “good” here means, 2 out of 6 kickoffs. Average Steeler starting position off of kickoffs was 18.3 (would’ve been at the 21, but a return was negated by a penalty). In any case, not inside the 15.

I trust you, as you are a Legit News Outlet.

“Whew.” - At least three other New York-based pro sports franchises.

Bills Mafia = elaborate mass suicide pact

Does that sign say “Free the Juice?”

“Thinking” is maybe a bit too generous a term.

Added note: The Steelers won the toss in overtime, and chose to kick it away. Presumably they had some set of clever analytics that determined this as the wise choice, perhaps because the wind was playing havoc in that end of the field - as demonstrated by Justin Tucker’s kick to tie the game at the end of the 4th,…