Best part of this is you KNOW Chris Christie is weeping in the shower somewhere.

I hate to say it, but even fucking Bush ducked flying shoes like a man.

It’s kind of like when people ask “So, what do you do for a living?” On the surface, it’s an innocent question, but it can sting if you or me or anyone does not have the required status or living.

Not just dates. People who treat servers like rudely or like they’re beneath them can’t be trusted in general. I don’t care how great you are in other respects if you do that you’re at least half an asshole.

I don’t care if people smile or make any small talk, but for the love of Christ on a cracker, please tell me the total when the ringing up is finished. This doesn’t really apply to TJ’s, but to stores and shops without easy-to-see register displays. The bare fucking minimum I need from a clerk is to announce the…

On the other hand at my local Sprouts store they tend to hire very young check-out clerks who cluster at the front of the store talking about whatever’s actually important to Today’s Youth and won’t even look at me when I’m ready to check out, much less speak. It doesn’t happen every time but it’s happened more than…

Were you Santa? Cause lack of jolliness is cause for termination in that case.

They are definitely encouraged to be chatty but I think the miserable part must depend on the location. I know people who work at my local store and they love it but my understanding is that the store manager is great. No idea how it averages out across the company, though.

You don’t carry a taser for such moments?

I worked at Safeway for a record 3 days and then got fired because I refused to come into work with a debilitating case of food poisoning. I wanted to show up and puke on the manager’s shoes to make a point (he thought I was faking) but I legitimately couldn’t manage it.

:( yesterday it was the applesauce pouches.

I was in there yesterday and I was wearing a sweatshirt from a very popular resort in a nearby state. One TJ employee recognized my shirt and said, “I love that place! You should talk to Bruce, he’s been going for years!” And suddenly, there was Bruce, who was hell-bent on having a 10 minute conversation with me about…

Wait, what? You mean I’m not just really really good at picking out the things that the checkout clerk loves the most? Damnit.

You should have asked for a manager and demanded he be fired, then thrown your groceries in the manager’s face and refused to pay before storming out while screaming obscenities.

There are people who are naturally shy and don’t feel comfortable engaging in conversation with complete strangers. And please cut that whole, “if you don’t like people don’t work in customer service” shtick! It’s unfair to people who have no choice other than to work those kind of jobs.

It scares me going into the container store, I suspect they are stepford wives and if I open up a large steamer trunk I will find the original person’s body stuffed in there.

Ah, thanks. It was a long time ago, but a time best forgotten.

Every time I shop at Trader Joe’s, the clerk who rings me up gets extremely enthusiastic about something I purchases—like “Oh, that’s the best spaghetti sauce!” or “Oh, I eat this frozen broccoli  every night!”

No.

Do Republicans have any sort of perception of Obama that is grounded in reality, ever?