What’s the best book you’ve read this year?

Hold up is that a Stefon bit as a WSJ headline

100% chance you break your neck attempting most of the gymnastics apparatuses. Trampoline or platform diving would be the most hilarious, though.

If you could enact any one-for-one Olympic event swap (e.g. trade equestrian for... literally anything), what would you do?

Swimmers: “We can’t swim in this, you can’t see shit in there!”

AP: “You can’t see it, but it’s there.”

“Hey, Ump, this guy in the Deadspin comments says Loney was safe!”

*Home plate umpire immediately leaves stadium and casts himself into the sea Lake Michigan*

Whoever set up the “Twitch Plays Pokemon Go” stream found a way to spoof GPS coordinates to play the game. Movement is even limited to realistic walking speed (not that the Twitch Plays Pokemon crowd ever gets anywhere very fast). If that could be released for the general audience, it could be a huge help for people…

100% taking you to the gay dive bar down the street after Booksmith

The Olympic torch relay went right by my house in 96. I remember being really cranky about dad waking me up to see it, but I don’t remember the torch itself. I also remember him being sent down to North Carolina to help search for Eric Rudolph, but I don’t remember news of the bombings when they happened.

“Can I watch?”
-Rob Ryan

Didn’t the guy who demonstrated the horn at the Kingsmoot fall dead with his lings burnt to a crisp? That made it seem pretty legit to me. Means nothing for the armor, though.

And to think they called coach Harsin crazy when he instituted the Holyfield Rule.

Oh man I was going to say this was right up there with the one about Martha Kent killing time travelers, and SHE WROTE THAT ONE TOO.

Oh, so when Kevin Seraphin can’t stop touching his phone at halftime he’s “not perfect,” but when *I* touch his phone ONE TIME I’m “under arrest.”

Putting his phone on a yo-yo was a pretty novel ide-*hurls from motion sickness*

It’s been 4 years already since he left Seattle? Yeesh.

My guy won and I actually cheered

Luckily no one on the organizing committee ever thought they would have to specify that you must actually be on your bike the whole time.

He’s no Pavel Dachshund, but a goal’s a goal

New conspiracy theory: Even Year Bullshit is SF’s attempt to accelerate redevelopment of The Mission by getting the rioters to burn it out.