I SAID THAT I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL THE NIGHT IT FELL DOWN, THAT I WAS MUGGED, AND THEN I MET THE POPE, AND THEN I SAVED EVERYONE FROM IMMINENT DOOM IN THE SECOND, THIRD, AND FIFTH IRAQI WARS.

The Cherry Coke one is SO GOOD. It's exactly like Cherry Coke.

Kids this age have been having sex forever. Its not necessarily super common or widespread but it definitely happens. We don't have to like it but what would be great was if our country got its head out of its own ass and started having mandatory sex ex starting in middle school. Just because adults don't think it…

Wonderful! We're taking possession of the phrase "whore pills" and draining it of its stigma oh dammit that was satire wasn't it?

omg

Yeah I missed this clarification in the last article and my Polak heart was hoping for tales of binge-eating pierogis, drinking vodka, obsessing over John Paul II, and lots of folk-dancing.

i am so obsessed with the fact that this is going to be an ongoing thing

Nope. Pearls are apparently timeless?

Not sure where you get your info, but an emollient such as petroleum jelly (and really all effective moisturizers) work by preventing moisture evaporation from the skin. It's the primary ingredient in many of the ointments I recommend for children with eczema for precisely this reason. It definitively does NOT make…

There's so much to love about your comment, but this is my favorite part:

Hahahaha, you're a walking hemorrhoid.

Uh. Why? Culture isn't sacrosanct. It's an artifact created by human beings, nothing more. Like all creations of humans it will be full of a medley of terrible ideas and practices.

Actions done for any reason that cause harm to another human being without consent(you're kidding if you think that children can consent to…

"They both said that SIL "is immature and not let her get on your nerves".

Gaslighting is certainly enough reason to pull the plug on a marriage. It isn't a relationship without an equal balance of power, and gaslighting is abusive.

But the merchant was a very important person. He sold monogramed thermos clay jugs.

FREEZE PEACH! Yeah that's totally what that means.

Chicago doesnt count. Come on, we all know Chicago is automatically excluded from any ripping on midwesr food sensibilities (unless we're talking "pizza" or hot dogs).

"There is no Chinese food in the midwest. They think they have Chinese food, but it doesn't hold a candle to the lovely stuff you get on the east coast. "

The Unrealistic Demander: possible gold digger, or wants someone who shares her socioeconomic status (big predictor for successful relationship)