Miley Cyrus estimates that $2,000 worth of beads is "enough to fill a large swimming pool." I have NO IDEA whether that's accurate, but she's the expert.

"A quick punchout there ..."

I worked for Tower Records in Boston and had a guy call convinced we were the Tourist Board or something even though I answered the phone "Tower Records." He kept asking me questions about the Freedom Trail and Swan Boats. Also once has a guy call to ask me about the weather and another to ask me about the Urban…

I am beginning to think that you go to places looking for something wrong and an excuse to bully people. Have a nice day.

2matoes?

If you think Qcumber is cool, wait until you see what else the good people at Monsanto have been working on!

WOW. That's amazing. The worst I've seen was my husband's cousin who, while also having a dry Baptist wedding, also included a screed about dress code on their website. It was like, "We've seen people at weddings who look like they are going to a baseball game and we think that's just awful. We want to cherish our…

When I was in high school, I was a clerk at the local pharmacy. One day, my coworker answered the phone:

It looks like an anti-vegetarian name, the way our fake meat has misspelled names like Chik'n—maybe something that looks and tastes like a cucumber, but is made out of bacon.

Everyone is good at something, but no one is good at everything! :D

Oh, the sick people I understand. That's emotionally draining, but it's what I signed up for. I'm more talking about the plebs who want me to ring up their cart full of groceries at the pharmacy checkout and then swear at me when I say no. :) But thank you for those kind words, I will carry them with me as I drag…

I got one like that (one of my phone numbers was similar to a local pizza place). Most of my calls were pretty normal ("No, their number is 7797, you called 7977." "Oh, sorry to bother you."), but I routinely got one woman (I am pretty sure it was always the same woman) who kept saying that I was lying because I…

I've created a helpful chart for Walter.

My current cell number, which I've had for over a year, still gets a healthy mix of 2am calls from the previous number holder's overseas relatives, the occasional recruiter (once, even a job offer), and whoever else hasn't talked to him in that long; in addition, it is a nice, solid number that I think must be a draw…

Thank you for calling that out. My grandma was put in special education classes for much of her school years because English was her second language and she struggled with it. She was fucking brilliant and went on to be the first Latina lawyer in her city and a local politician.

The customer who walked in with three kids, sat at a table and asked one of my servers, "Do you guys have nachos?" (I'd like to point out that he would have walked directly by the sign on the front of the building that read "authentic Italian thin-crust pizza") The server informed him that we did not, but we did have…

"You have red wines and white wines, right? Then just take some red and white wine and mix them together!"

"This is a horrific act of violence. What aspect of it do I find most worthy of comment? I know - the beaten woman's decisions were bad!" - you, apparently.

You are welcome. It was one of the few articles I read lately I actually went and fetched my reading glasses. I wanted to finish it that much. It was very well written and the gentleman comes across as legit and caring. Read it in Esquire.

But the girl sitting behind him also had crazy expensive seats as well. More proof that "trickle-down" economics doesn't work and the 1% keep everything!!