I will never understand why Jessica Simpson became the body issues punching bag for every tabloid in the world. She's a knockout and has pretty much always looked like a knockout, I can detect no real difference between her and all the other female celebrities that apparently aren't deserving of this degree of insane…

JESSICA JUST BE EXACTLY PERFECT AT ALL FUCKING TIMES JESUS DO YOU NEED US TO DRAW A FUCKING MAP THIS ISNT ROCKET SCIENCE

a delightful ginger man who has been added to my harem within the last year.

I think it might be a type of exotic fruit.

""He made me call my 93 year old grandma to thank her for my baby blue eyes!" That seriously sounds like something The Onion's Joe Biden would do right before offering her some pot or a ride in his firebird.

I remember when I turned 5, my parents asked me what kind of birthday party I wanted to have and who I wanted to invite. And I just wanted to ask my best friend and have pancakes. My parents were so surprised. I treasure the photos they took of us, eating pancakes, especially because my best friend died tragically…

Awwh. One waitress will never forget about Dre.

You are right. All animals over 6 pounds should be banned.

So could any big dog. WTF is your point?

yuck. troll.

I'm traveling abroad on my own this summer. I've decided to take a bikini. It's the first two piece I've had in 10 years. I'm so over covering my body because it doesn't look "right". So, fuck it. That's all.

oh my god. The first time me and the taller half.

Mine is really obnoxiously sugary-sweet. It was on my birthday, and me and a group of friends were supposed to go out, and no one showed up, except for my best friend. He told me "hey, it's your day and it belongs to nobody else but you. Want to play some video games?" And what happened next was incredible. We got to…

"In a sense, it mocks what yoga is," says Jennilyn Carson

Isn't for profit in the better interest of keeping the reading material more broad? Like, if it's a non-profit more people will be invested in saying XYZ can't be on the reading list for BS reasons? Or is it the other way around?

When I first started reading on my own, I would read as many books as I could get my hands on and then watch Reading Rainbow and feel like I had "won" if the Reading guy hadn't even read what I was reading. It didn't occur to me that he was suggesting what I should be reading until I got a bit older.

You would get PTSD every time you saw a group of people celebrating their culture in a stereotypical way.

Emma, you're NEVER going to be able to get a job with an English degree. Trust me.

Who told a rich white girl that college wasn't possible?

Jay Stone (our local critic) had a fine final line for his review:

[Terry Crews sings] Love Is A Many Blended Thing, and I admit it, I smiled, although part of it was relief. I'm retiring next week, and this is the last Adam Sandler movie I'll ever have to see for the rest of my life.