And dancing and having fun? Oh the humanity! Clearly chilling with a blunt and hating on kids is preferable.

I follow Bottlerocket on Vine and he truly is hilarious. Kingdaddy is also a good one. He reads his daughter's drawings out loud as they are actually spelled. Like this one :)

Kidneys fail for a reason. I'm not saying that sloppy grammar will cause them to, but I'm not saying it won't, either.

Grammar-heckling the guy on dialysis. I like your style.

I think the only time I actually laughed at Boy Meets World was when the mom sent Eric on an errand: "Take the money to the bank, make a deposit, come right back." He kept repeating it to himself so he wouldn't forget. Cut to: "Take mommy to see Frank, clean my closet, take a nap."

Thank you for your comment! This is where I bust out the "P" word and politely remind us all to check our health and medical services privilege at the door. I think there's a worthwhile conversation to be had here about teachers who push boundaries in regards to emergency situations—I get that a lot of people don't…

I wish I didn't spend so much time loudly professing I didn't want kids and mocking those who had them. It's made it rather embarrassing now that I'm trying to have them. ..

I'm loving not having kids, but am totally regretting the whole work thing. Being a stay at home mom to my cats would be ideal.

I knew pretty early in my young adulthood that I didn't want kids. Everyone told me I would change my mind when I got older. I'm 30 now and my mind is still pretty anti-children. Everyone still keeps telling me I'll change my mind when I "find the right man". I don't think so.

Apparently it's the bees knees, really top drawer, oh, and you are terrified of everyone that isn't like you because their existence somehow harms yours.

I think it'd be easy to criticize the school but, in fairness, I think we all remember that bit in the bible when Jesus, dying on the cross, says "One last thing before I go, remember to be complete and total dicks to innocent little kids whenever you have the chance. Peace out, losers."

No, it's just a REALLY good corset...it will suck in space and time as well as your waistline.

(IT'S EITHER ONE OR THE OTHER. TUNA OR EGG SALAD. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU MIX.)

I would love to see more articles like this on Jezebel. Thank you.

I needed these laughs.

Naturally skinny person here. Some of us are naturally skinny. Therefore I would never write a book or blog or anything on "How to stay fit" or write something to the effect of "I am thin, why aren't you?". It's like a person born wealthy writing a book on "How to Succeed in life". This woman is an asshole and…

This is actually indicative of the new trend happening amongst young Tumblr professionals these days, which is "labia gap." The idea is that your vaginal lips must be positioned to form a sort of upside-down horseshoe; the wider the horseshoe, the more cachet among your fellow teen bloggers. There is training that you…

I only have an associates in Strumpetry but am enrolled in an online certification program for Tarting about Town with a concentration in Galavanting. I aspire to be a full-fledged Slut and Master Whore one day, adjunct teaching at several schools, spreading cheer and lasciviousness to all who enroll in my classes.…

sluts are just whores in training