A movie about Grace shouldn't have to work so hard to make me like it. It should glide into the room in a to-die-for ensemble, sit more gracefully then a ballerina, pour a cup of tea and have me at its feet in thirty seconds.

My bisexual wife worships Cameron Diaz. I have no doubt that if my wife was carrying me upstairs, princess style, for a little whoopee, and Cameron Diaz suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs, pointed at her, and said, "You there; service me," my wife would toss me down the stairs like a bag of laundry and lunge…

That cooking class was probably a lot of fun until Reese pulled the "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" card. Reese, gurl, I only need the garlic press for a minute. Calm down.

Are you like, new to gossip blogs as a concept, or just generally insufferable?

Of course not; that's why it's clearly just a joke. Jokes! I make them sometimes! (You may have noticed.)

I've been singing EVERYTHING IS AWESOME from the new Lego Movie since we saw it on Friday night. There are worse ear worms, plus I get the added bonus of being able to torture my children.

I bet Bruce puts a Bruce Jenner action figure in his little helicopter and whispers, "You're free. You're finally free." when he flies it around.

SHE WAS LYING!?

It's "on a roll."

Oh come on. What is up with y'all who don't read the articles?

I dunno. I feel Trace shouldn't beat himself up about it.

I truly credit you for taking the time/money to upgrade cat meals. My cats get Purina wet food around 4 times a week, and they are spoiled to the point where anytime I put dry food in the bowl, I get bitched out by a 2-cat cacophony of protest meows. It's a slippery slope.

With my first husband: I did a fucking chart on the wall with stickers. Like you do when you're toilet training a three year old. Unless I lost my shit.

you must be fun at parties.

Right, I'm going to come off like an ass here, but here it goes:

1.) Is anyone even surprised anymore? This privileged, ridiculously wealthy young man has never been taught limits—and in situations where limits should have been applied, he's been told (and shown, through the US justice system) that his wealth is…

Ninety-three percent is great, but I think 100% would be better, no? Being that 100 would be true parity, and, despite my obviously inferior intellect, hysterical reproductive organs, and fragile constitution, I would still like to make the same as my male counterpart.

Since colors are overwhelming I suggest my own personal technique: pick something you like that's a color, and then another color that goes with it, tada! Don't make it about the colors (unless you really want to*), make it about the things you like and want to include.