Rick Mirer is the Danny Woodhead of shitty quarterbacks.

Exactly. I like to put on Forensic Files on Sunday afternoons, watch about an episode and a half, and then fall into a wonderful couch-drooling-coma-nap. It will be so sweet when I’m no longer awoken by the shrill harpy wails of Nancy Grace.

It was utterly bananas then. You could call a hotline and hear Al Cowlings reveal...NOTHING! for $.99/minute.

I’m always fascinated by how malleable many conservatives think a persons sexual orientation is.

It’s a chicken and egg thing. You say weird people with dumb ideas tend to gravitate towards UFC, I say that if someone gets punched in the head for a living they will eventually become libertarians.

“Should I study and get smarter, or should I go hit people in the face?”

I wish there was some way you could avoid these articles and comments. Imagine a world where you could see the title on the Deadspin homepage, shake your head, roll your eyes, and move on. That would be an amazing world. It’s a shame it will never exist.

Comments like this are exactly why this series must never die.

So what you are telling me is that you are an actual fan of the team, not a fan of the fans, making you, therefore, one of the best fans in baseball.

Bruce: [Hits kid’s water table] “Fuck you, Fisher Price water table!”

You inspired me to make this sir lol

I’m so glad that the practice of purposely not showing fans running onto the field has stopped fans from running onto the field

Drew misspelled St. Louis. Boston and New York fans are way more tolerable than Cardinals fans ever will be.

I’m a lifelong Mets fan and I don’t even hate the Royals or their fans. I don’t mean to come off as a dick, but you guys are so far under the radar it’s gonna take a lot more than a WS title to make anyone have second thoughts about Kansas City. Honestly, I still don’t know what state you are in.

The rascal Flatt’s crowd is typically far from.......rough

I think he was kidding, random butthurt guy with no sense of humor.

They assaulted a woman! Also, nearly killed a man or something unimportant.

Here’s another interesting fact for you: In 2016, all of that is completely fucking irrelevant!

to my surprise, cold frothy beer came pouring out