awwww bayyyybaaaeeeee!!!

Eminem.

Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Johnson' baby powder.

America.

i'm sayin' tho.

leave my honey mustard alone you savage!

why the sauce gotta be white? why can't it be red like BBQ or tomato based? or burgundy—brown sugar-chili-based? or yellow—honey-mustard, tamarind or curry? You ranchy-white people make me sick. Know why? Cuz you go for that mediocre Kraft-McDonalds-mediocre-bland sauce when there's so many other good sauces and…

Every Adele album should be called "LOVE HURTS and HE AINT COMING BACK."

Steph Curry is gonna stab you, Damon. I mean…

Brothers is lowkey slanging eggplants emojis and thirst traps at her… Some athlete right now is tryna fly her out.

I don't know if Charles Barkley is single, but if he is, Tomi Lahren is right up his alley. I don't think she swirls tho—at least not publicly.

I'm a Christian and I believe Christ when he commands to love thy enemies. I can love and forgive Tomi Lahren.

i was gonna go with "Cornbread, Guhhrrrllll, and Me" but Zellwegger is just boiled chicken bland.

This is the Serato of art… Painters are sitting around kicking over easels and bowls of fruit and lighting their degrees on fire right now.

"Cornbread, Muffin Top, Hurl, and Me."

She be cryin don't she?! Like I just wanna give her a subscription to O magazine and tell her it's gonna be alright.

Lemme see… Mr. Church… SAME Kind of Different as Me…

SPOILER ALERT: At the end, Dimon sprouts wings and Richard Dreyfuss shows up as Saint Peter and says "Well, done my boy. Well done! You're in!"

That's "MISTER Shuck N. Jive" to you.