also witnessed leaving the scene.

Down by the river?

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

sometimes the news makes me feel like a walking disappointed sigh.

Lets put everyone from Portland, Oregon under quarantine because someone from Portland, Maine coughed.

Honestly, I was fairly ambivalent about Malala until I saw her on the Daily Show. (I just figured she was a regular girl being trotted around for propagandist purposes).

That explains all the children I've been lying in my wake on my way to work recently...

Does anything else really need to be said?

People's childhoods were ruined by warning about racism...

I just started screaming internally. I'm never eating potatoes for the next few weeks. Thanks Mark for making childhood fears of plants growing inside me come true. You'll receive my therapy bills shortly.

Yep, you can really tell which TV ladies are clumsy lushes by who just goes with white wine. I'm looking at you, Carrie Mathison, Tami Taylor and Kathie Lee.

I love the way white looks on me but if it's white there's a 100% chance that I'm going to spill something on it. Probably red wine. And that's how I decided that Olivia Pope is a wizard.

I know she is an adult and all but the idea of someone doing that to Emma Watson makes me want to go Full On Mama Bear Molly Weasley Skull Cracking.

She should have stopped at 'Go see medical professionals' but no, that line was leapt over, just destroyed, and as she passed over the line of decency she pissed on it gleefully.

Can we take a moment to discuss what is possibly Dear Prudence's worst column yet? In which Emily Yoffe suggests that a man in a sexless marriage take his wife on her offer to let him have sex with her while she's knocked out on sleeping pills?

That must make their students of color feel so supported. Way to be, teachers. Thanks for making the rest of us look bad.