True love wants the good of the beloved. You’re talking about lust, which is different. You’re a very confused person.

John Goeghan was not “in love.” He was a sexual predator, same as a serial “adult woman” rapist. You need professional help.

You have to be trolling. Even Humbert Humbert was guilt ridden.

Those jerks sure do take care of themselves, though.

Satire. Comprehension fail.

I bet you took his “eclipse glasses are a product of big science” post seriously, too. Let me know how the eclipse looked when you stared at it, you idiot.

Satire, idiot.

Almost the entire market for US $100 bills is in support of criminal activity.

The vast majority of $100 bills are used for illegal purposes. The VAST majority.

You can’t carry gold bars to a car dealer, either, jack. They’re, however, exchangeable for our common medium of exchange, currency. Like, uh, Bitcoin.

These are awesome. But apparently there’s a lot of pre-literate people on splinternews.

You can’t be this clueless.

“Just...kinda...funny lookin’”

Man, I lost my soul wife in 2012, my soul father in 2012, and my soul dog in 2014. Getting tired.....

No doggy heaven. That’s the great thing about dogs — they live in the now, and they genuinely seem to try to have the best time they can while they can. And they die with dignity. We could learn a lot from them.

Jesus, take a fucking pill. You’re right — Dave Thomas pulled “Wendy’s” out of a hat for his burger joint, and had his daughter retroactively by artificial insemination of a sexbot to “game the narrative.” Cause Illuminati.

Read the New Yorker interview with the ghostwriter of The Art of the Deal. Trump actually is a moron of incomparable shallowness.

It’s not white privilege. It’s called “being an asshole.”

It’s not white privilege. The Nazis and the Jews were both white. That privilege shit is getting way overblown I’m part Native American, and, no, not every idea or action must be filtered through my NA filter for “acceptability.” That’s just kindler, gentler censorship. Hurting someone’s feelings is not in any sense…

I’ll say it: tolerating the burka is actually promoting intolerance. It’s shocking how many on the left are ok supporting the forced veiling of women or even the murder of cartoonists, in the name of cultural sensitivity. That’s a mistake. Watch — this comment will be pilloried.