The crackdown kicked off this week, and people are freaking out.

"HOW DARE YOU SHARE THAT WITH HER AND NOT ME, DID YOU BLOCK ME?!!

Hey, fellow Nordic here. We are cold and bitchy. That's how we roll ;)

I have a list of people who cannot see any of my posts, this is basically my MIL and her fucking annoying nosey friends. Be careful though. Sometimes when you post on a public group (I made this mistake, I thought it had been a private pregnancy yoga group) these people will see it with their magical stalking powers.…

I keep waiting for Fieri to have a heart attack on site while eating somebody's awful burger tower.

Ah, Mr. Wizard. Bill Nye of the Middle Ages.

Alton is the Bill Nye of food. I like Bill Nye.

My dad has a theory that she's secretly a serial killer. Whenever he sees her on Food Network, he'll say to my mom, "She kills people, you know. You can just tell." And for whatever reason, I find that hilarious.

I think they should show more intense close-ups of Alton Brown's face. I'm not completely sure how ugly he is.

I worked for a jet center and he flew in/out through it a few times and was always a HUGE pain in the ass. Most 'celebrities' that flew through were really nice, polite and even gave us their extra catering that they almost never touched. Emeril, on the other hand, specifically said he wanted EVERYTHING thrown away…

The secrets to cooking like Flay:

You should check out America's Test Kitchen and Cook's Country on your local public access station. You get solid explanations and the recipes are great, though you do miss out on the yeast puppets.

Flay doesn't know it but he is my mentor in the kitchen and on the grill. While we are at it, Emeril is the absolute worst. Not only because he made a career out of being a fake Cajun from Massachusetts, but because he is an asshole. I met him. He really is an asshole. For real. In real life. Asshole.

Flay is a pompous ass. "Hey, Food Network, can I have ANOTHER show wherein I compete with regular folks to make the same food in a competition and I win every time, proving my greatness?"

Cutthroat Kitchen is awesome. It's fun to see chefs, often the most anal retentive people there are, being thrown into utter chaos while knowing they are going to be judged on tv by one of their more successful peers. It combines two of my most favorite things in the world: schadenfreude and food.

Seconded. I've only recently started to make some of the recipes from Good Eats, but that show has probably taught me more about why his recipes are built the way they are than any other cooking show on TV.

Kill a man? WTF are you talking about?? God help the f***tards you ride with if they start to act like in the video (or in any way that makes a cop decide that is the best course of action). And god help them if they pull their guns or actually use them against a police officer...Then they're really f***ed for life if…

I was annoyed at this comment until the last two glorious sentences.

ARE PEOPLE JUST NOT AS WORRIED ABOUT SEPSIS AS I AM?