My thoughts on these people.

ETA : This is one time I will refrain from apologizing for having an image post so ginormously big.

ACCIO BONERZZZZZ: Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis) just popped his top off for you

So it's not just my fb friends. Comforting.

“This is the WORST thing that has ever happened to me! I can’t believe no one CARES. And NO I do NOT want to talk about it. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!”

It’s very reminiscent of when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made a couple of TayTay jokes, and she’s all like “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help women” i.e. “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t fawn all over me.” Also, Bad Blood is pretty weak-sauce. You’d think if you really wanted…

Look at the white woman making it about her.... So adorable.

Christ on a cracker Bobby, those roving eyes of Blake and Miranda’s FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT!! +1 to you sir.

Re: the Cunts. For a while, my parents loved to tell the story of how my dad loved to tell me to ask any given waiter for a fork and spoon when I was a toddler. I couldn’t pronounce fork and spoon correctly, because I was like 2, and apparently I would politely request a “fuckin’ poon,” and my dad thought it was…

I’m confused at why people think that by posting it, I was implying we should all have sympathy for them. It’s a weird, crazy, nonsensical story that I found interesting to read; that’s the entire judgment I would attach to it.

This is fair, but at the same time, if you call a place and ask “are you delivering right now” and they say “yes,” at that point it’s kind of on them.

I’d like to think that there is a BCO-worthy story of what went on backstage in that Pizza Hut that caused diners to wait over an hour for their pizzas. Sinkholes in the kitchen floor, tweaked-out line cooks wielding cleavers, dragons nesting in the mozzarella tub? I wanna know.

These really are all WTF territory, but that last one brought me joy. I’m still trying to figure out how the food blew out the door and they just decided oh well they’re not getting food...

never mind that the website was the entire reason they’d gotten in contact with me,

There is a special place in hell for people who order delivery during snowstorms. And in that hell, crab rangoon will always be Three. Blocks. Away.

Before I scrolled down and saw her picture, I knew she was a black mother. This never happens to white moms.

If Tony’s letter ran along the lines of ‘Hey, I’m finding going into middle age hard and I kinda worry about feeling irrelevant or ignored or no longer part of a world I previously understood’, I’d feel a lot more sympathy for him because I am told that the aging process is/can be fucking rough and it’s hard to…

Well, I, for one plan to engage in my own plot for eternal youthfulness by bathing in the tears of old dried up white dudes like Tony. Because although he might be becoming aware of his own mortality, truth is he’ll be considered bangable for a while, even with the high douche quotient.

Hey! Focus! This is about Tony!

I wonder how many not-unattractive 47 year old women Tony “notices.”