As editor in chief of Splinter, I must state that Splinter does not endorse Hamilton Nolan’s views about the eclipse. I do, however, support him emotionally.

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

I appreciated her steadfast refusal to learn or care about any sport the entire time she wrote for Deadspin. Will miss her unique voice.

Labor forgets its class consciousness sometimes, but capital never does.

The best part of capitalism is when shitheads accidentally waste their money in the funniest of ways.

ben shapiro is a 5'4" manlet and he’s extremely embarrassed about that

Could be worse. They could be libertarians or god forbid, Republicans.

I think where white people get mixed up is what they’re supposed to FEEL about their privilege. They (we) too often assume it’s guilt or remorse that’s required. When, in reality, it’s kindness and civility and fairness. And most importantly sometimes, it requires outrage for a plight that’s not your own.

I love the growth of this comment.

“Law enforcement has requested,” huh? Fuck this. Everyone from law enforcement, the federal and state government, large corporations, and some small community businesses have acted nefariously in North Dakota. This is INEXCUSABLE. This is criminal, unethical, and inhumane. This is genocide. All of this is happening in…

nah

Some perspective on how historic this is:

So the guy perpetrates the violence and then blames the woman for not preventing it? (Checks all of human history.) YUP! CHECKS OUT!

It has been 9 years since I deployed to Iraq. I spent 15 months there doing convoy recovery. Since I got back I’ve dealt with at times crippling PTSD, and about three years ago my therapist recommended I try playing a more realistic war game, as it apparently helps many people (though honestly I don’t know how). At…

So maybe Barron isn’t all that good with computers after all.

Dude, you are now going to get a million replies where cyclists comment on the number of times vehicle drivers have failed to obey the rules of the road. Maybe it’s not as one-sided as you make it out to be, and everyone can learn to share the road and drive defensively.

Sorry, Patrick, the correct title was “What is Alex Trebek Hilariously Shits On Jeopardy! Contestant And Her Whole Crew For No Reason”.

That would be the most commonplace speculation but if you go by the statistics it was most likely a vengeful ghost or some kind of extra-terrestrial phenomena.

The federal government currently guarantees twelve weeks of unpaid maternity leave

calling for a ground war via no fly zone