You know, I would have enjoyed the shit out of this episode couplet if the Internet hadn’t spoiled every fucking surprise way before I saw it. I mean, John Simm, the First Doctor, Bill as a Cyberman...all the big beats were spoiled weeks ago.

There. Fixed it for you. BMW drivers are cocks, roaches, and cockroaches.

If you follow Edward James Olmos on Twitter, he’ll send you a personal message about water conservation. It’s a thrill.

My husband’s joke: The camera actually kills you because after you buy film for it, you can’t afford health insurance and die of a preventable disease.

My husband actually owns a couple of old Polaroids.

Yeah this is a cut & paste of The Ring, Shutter, that Goosebumps thing, One Missed Call, ....every teen horror ever...

tuHmoH wo’vaD

tuHmoH wo’vaD

He’s an Uber driver. Do we expect his decisions to make sense? He willingly signed up to be totally fucked over by a massive corporation...wait, that’s all of us. Never mind.

I mean, hosing tennis shoes off of something would be tricky.

Ok this is obviously not my bailiwick. I heard “migos” and my brain went here:

Well actually it’s spelled GIF but it’s pronounced “throat wobbler mangrove.”

This is stupid. Very, very stupid.

This is stupid. Very, very stupid.

Ugh. You are man. You have manly poops. Ugh. MMM. Manly poops. Soooo manly. Beta cucks have tiny unworthy poops compared to your big manly poops. MMMM. Love those manly poops.

Everything about this is my worst fear about bathroom experiences. I will run far away. This is literally the worst bathroom-related thing in the history of ever. I hate it in half.

Depends on the Vespa. I have a 278cc scoot. It’ll take the weight. :)

Right? lol

Or for super cool factor, trade that motorcycle in for a Vespa with a sidecar.

Yet another one that is answered by three simple letters: GTI.