So many of these can be answered very simply: GTI or Golf R. There.

Yes, Oregon is entirely made of snakes and lava and toxic gravel pits. Stay away.

I’m actually a sentient spider wearing a fedora.

Yes, stay away. Portland is full of toxic alien mold and sentient spiders wearing fedoras.

Came here to say this.

Golf R?

I would buy this in a hot second. Or a cold second. Or a squishy second. I’d buy it, is what I’m saying.

Oh hell yes and more hell yes and some on top of that. Arrival was a god damned masterpiece. If this guy can do that for Dune, it’ll be a movie to rival the best things in the history of the Universe.

So it’s actually about ethics in movie journalism?

It is bad. Really bad. So very very bad.

This and more of this.

Yeah, hello? The finale of that show was BREATHTAKING.

Sandi Toksvig is awesome and I love her.

Dude’s clearly getting close to R’lyeh. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu f’thagn!

The VW Phaeton. Why buy a Bentley when you can buy a VW that has all the Bentley stuff?

The truck that prospective buyers deserved, but not the one they needed right now?

God I remember the commercials for the Axiom with that creepy guy in them.

You must not live in Portland. We’re wall to wall with these things. And Priuses.

Now hang on just one sec. The Solstice Coupe is a collector’s item now. Worth real money. They didn’t make many of them, partly because Pontiac went bust right when they started making them, but find one now and they’re a pretty penny. I myself had a Solstice GXP from 2007 for a year, and if I was the kind of…

Cancel that turn signal. Bah.