We want to question these two guys, but they’re already gone so, we’ll hold these other two guys hostage. We’ll piss off the IOC and the USA as part of the process. What could possibly go wrong?

Personally, I found his tribute to Flight 370 incredibly touching.

Silly question: How is one able to actually trademark “Rio?”

I don’t see the big deal. Everyone should want to save America’s pastime. I believe this lady, who holds baseball in a special place in her heart. Why convolute this issue with facts, numbers, faces, or reality? Support our troops.

IT is unutterably sad to me that her parents did not sit her down and make her realize that she did not get in to the college of her choice because she did not earn it. Bottom line. These upper middle class parents need to get real with their offspring: race and money can only get you so far. Granted, it will get you…

One day I hope someone makes a Celine Dion biopic but told exclusively from the point of view of Sarah Miller as relayed in this review.

I just wanna say I am SO FUCKING STOKED TO READ THIS!!! I’m going to go do 3 work things so I can come back and revel in this without feeling too too guilty.

kids these days just don’t appreciate the simple brilliance of edward 40-hands.

DEATH TO THE NCAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the cheerleaders, who are also professional athletes, are supposed to make ends meet via ... what, exactly? Fucking the team and hopefully getting a few bills shoved their way in return? How nice and open-minded of these conservative fucksticks to show their support for prostitution.

Hell, it’s not even trickle down economics anymore. Apparently, you’re supposed to just be happy to be in the physical vicinity of that kind of money.

It could have been worse. Remember that time Miss New Jersey ripped the crown off the head of Miss Rhode Island and then it exploded?

Yeah, I would take the $2mil and donate like $500k of it. Sorry, but it’s 2 with 6 zeros after it dollars. For like an hour of work. I would feel horrible about it though. And definitely wouldn't post an Instagram about it.

I can see Nicki in her dressing room in Angola muttering to herself:

Please leave all of your bad “deep things" jokes here:

Sometimes, when I’m driving to work, I think that I’d rather have a disabling accident than live through another week of bullshit. Not the same thing? Okay, I have nothing to offer here. Bless it, as we say here.

White people who are really fucking high and have a disposible amount of money but lack the sense that the gods gave oysters.

The comment about “breaking the restaurant” makes me think they did it on purpose to cause trouble, not because they actually had people waiting for those burgers.

That’s pretty rich for somebody who is making other people work on the Sabbath!