I’m sorry - Kum & Go?  What, was Jizzily Quick taken?

According to Mr Vinegar’s boss, one can view David’s tight buns on Grindr.  I wonder how many profiles he had to trawl through to find him, the manky puppy...

Aye, we say “all fur coat and nae knickers!” about people like that where I’m from.  

Probably being told by my best friend to towel-whip one of his team-mates in the showers after they’d finished playing rugby.  I, ahem, got the wrong backside and that was how I met Mr Vinegar.

I love her in everything she’s in. She’s so damned lovely, to be fair. I’ve always seen her role in Love, Simon as being sort-of-like the “sequel” to 13 Going On 30. And yeah, that scene in Love, Simon makes me cry so damned hard...

Yes, yes (gruyere is my go-to cheese for sandwiches) and oh-my-god yes for Fontina.  Mind you, I sort-of prefer matured Fontina.  It’s not so melty, but it’s still delicious.

Allison? Wow, you are basic.

I bet you all £1000 that the rapist is the son of one of the teachers.  

I never understood the appeal of candy corn. I tried it once and, like my disastrous experimentation with heterosexual intercourse, it was messy, tasted like death and regret and both me and my lady-friend agreed never to speak of it again.

No, Esther, we can’t stop the panic. Whilst you think you’re oh-so-cool with your oh-so-trendy Juul (a product designed and specifically marketed at teenagers and young adults, my dear), you’re ignoring the simple fact that no one - no one knows what the long-term effects of vaping are. Whilst you may be happy to…

If this person is from Europe like they claim, they would know that all they would need to do is say to the server “can I please be left alone, but I will signal if I need you”. I’ve found the vast majority of American servers to be understanding - all you need to do is ask.

This has shades of 68 all over it.   These so-called French conservatives had better well stand well back and allow the law to change.  The last time they tried to stop something like this, it ended in riots.

I think you’ll find a good portion of those idiots have thankfully died.  

As your resident Snarky Scottish Gay Bitch, allow me to tell you this: Boris is fisting the country up the arse without lube whilst decked out in enough nasty “gold” bangles from Claire’s Accessories to make Mr T blush.

I’m not going to say a word about her mental health, because I don’t see what sort of bearing that actually has on her actions and words. What I will comment on, however, is the mental health of those who are attacking a sixteen year old woman (in Scotland, she’s legally an adult, so I’ll refer to her as such) for…