Cannot be arsed with sourdough. If I was expected to look after something, feed it, fuss over it and make sure that it doesn’t die on me, I’d get a cat. Oh, hold on - I’ve already got one!

I’m confused:  what’s the big deal about bagging your own shit? 

You mean the Aisle of Dreams?  I fucking love the Aisle of Dreams.  

I was taught to ensure that I had “the basics” in my kitchen cupboards (or pantry, if you want to be fancy fuckwit about it) - salt, pepper (always peppercorns, never ground unless you were living in the backwoods of, say, Lancashire or Narf Lundun), ‘decent’ dried pasta, tinned vegetables (tomatoes, naturally, but…

There’s an article over on the New Zealand Herald where some blogger or wellness “guru” (Translation:  her influencer career dried up faster than a nun’s snatch and she needed to make coin) insists upon washing your food in warm soapy water.  Yeah.  Give that corn that fresh lemony scent!

As someone from an Italian family, I’d just like to throw this wee factoid into the ring: you don’t need tomatoes for pasta. Seriously. Sometimes people forget that a lot of Italian dishes are about simplicity and what’s-to-hand. You can swap the tomatoes in, say, puttanesca for red peppers (if you’ve never made a…

Jack Monroe’s got your back. Seriously, she’s a fucking god-send for so many people and she deserves the clicks. She really, really does.

Don’t forget folks - you can use thinly sliced potatoes as a pizza topping. You don’t need tomatoes or cheese (mind you, a wee sprinkling is lovely) but you should try and use some rosemary if you have it, or just good old salt and pepper.

Keep him away from other prisoners and guards.  In fact, just throw him into a jail cell somewhere far from everyone else and let the disease run it’s course.  And when his body is eventually found, douse it in lye and wash away what remains.

I always loved Amelie, not just because, well, Audrey Tatou, but because you get to see little snippets of French cuisine. Such as the croque madame at 0:57. What is a croque madame, you ask, surely that’s just you making things up, Mr Vinegar!

You’re missing one key British - or should we say Scottish - series: Taggart. It ran for 1983/5 (83 saw a miniseries, named Killer, and the show really began it’s run in 85) all the way to 2010. It was frequently pot-boiler stuff, but with some genuinely great episodes (Nest of Vipers is one of my favourites) plus the…

As one of the resident bitchy gay men who frequent this board, allow me to say...

I agree with literally everything you said in that video. The anti-Chinese - hell, anti-Asian - shit that some people are coming out with is fucking disgusting. I’m in Glasgow (the original one, dears) and we recently saw a disgusting incident where a Chinese student was assaulted by a trio of fuckwits simply for being…

It all sounds so hideously Seventies.  I’m amazed a fondue set didn’t make an appearance...

I am fucking sick of the media calling him a “disgraced movie mogul” - he’s a fucking rapist and blackmailer.  The good thing is that the fat piss-slit isn’t getting out of there alive and I seriously hope he has fucking nightmares for the rest of his nights.  

Curry.  Get the brats involved.  Get them chopping those vegetables.

A few years ago, I was working for a property company. The workforce was quite large - about 140 people or so in total, and a good half of that were women. The office manager was this terrifyingly scary creature who was often quite aggressive towards people (she tried it with me, I verbally bitchslapped her with a…

Kelly, you dolt - The Office was originally a British programme.  For god’s sake, do some fact-checking before you publish.

God, she’s got worse eye make-up and lashes than a drunk drag queen...

I’d have gladly kicked that walker away from him. Crawl, you fucker, fucking crawl.