Catholics:  the suburban cannibals!

Fuckwittery, too.

WHERE ARE THE CAT NIPPLES?  THERE SHOULD BE AT LEAST SIX OF ‘EM ON TAYTO’S BODY!

My Grandfather, god rest his soul, once told me that if I could see the stars at night, then I was sleeping under their protection. He told me that the stars were actually ancient warriors who watched over sleeping children, the moon was their queen and the clouds were their hunting dogs, seeking out evil.

Well, to be as cunty as someone says I am (moi? I’m adorable. Plus I only handle people with kid gloves made from real kids...), I’m loving the fact that a fellow manager is having to go on long-term sick-leave with a possibility that they won’t be returning. This is the sort of person who, ahem, slept their way into…

Hey, fuckwit, I’ve been to your shitty wee country several times in the past.  Calm your MAGA-arse down.  Oh, and by the way?  The UK has some of the most stringent food safety laws in the world.  Tell me - how many Yanks have died from gorging themselves on foodstuffs contaminated with e-coli?  Away you go and have a…

I wouldn’t know - I make it a mission in life to not eat food from trucks.  They’re frequently dodgy, run by men with bad hair and questionable dental habits and often serve up e-coli or listeria as a bonus topping.

Oh, fuck off, you badly coiffed semi-sentient spoiled melon of a woman.  Piss off back to whatever trailer you call home.  Go on, shoo.

*files claws*

Fried chicken thighs are utterly fucking delectable.  They get a double-paws-up from the cat.

Face?  Meet palm.  I’ll introduce you two at high velocity, ‘kay?

*severely stern kitteny look*

*fetches bazooka*  Swear to god, those things give me the heebies worse than Melania Trump’s “modelling” pictures...

Ah, the nuked ready meal...

Get an electric kettle.  *stern kitteny look*

Yup, the sort of guy that any self-respecting poof like yours truly knows never to leave his female cohort alone with.  Fucking cretins, the pair of them.

This’ll be my last reply to this thread (I promise!). It’s not an urban legend, but it is a legend of telly, often shown at Hogmanay and is still a popular play to this day. It’s the legendary The Steamie. Now, what is it about? Well, it tells the story of four women - Dolly, Doreen, Mrs Culfeathers and, my favourite,…

So that’s what Donald Trump’s shits look like. 

This next one is lengthy. And it’ll give you an insight into the horrors of Victorian/Edwardian Glasgow, something that lasted all the way to the end of the second world war. And it’s the subject of an urban myth: that in the last days before the Second World War, families in parts of Glasgow had much better housing…

Well, they cast Naomi Harris as Moneypenny - and that was inspired, not to mention playing on the Naval background that Moneypenny always had.  We can expect the Gammon Wankers to go nuts on Twitter about this...