Raw onions can taste like Russian hooker piss. I always say that fried onions - fried to the point of becoming translucent, soft and amber-hued - are the way to go for burger toppings.

Fabulous comment.  *throws galaxy of stars*

Kinja’s easier to use than Ivanka.  You need to make sure she’s got sixteen double-A batteries in.

God, you’d hate working in the UK. I would get shouted at by my boss if you didn’t take your lunchbreak and I’d be forced to stand over you, nagging you to get up from your desk and go somewhere else in the building and forcibly socialise with people or sit in a quiet spot (preferably in the canteen in a comfy chair ov…

Sausage. There is nothing like a fresh, hot, dripping hot cylinder in the morning. (Calm yourself, Pang) Plus, you can do rude things with said-sausage.

It’s funny that no one ever seems to come for Absolut. I mean, they’ve been doing the whole Pride shindig for thirty-five years. But here’s the thing - how many of you lot are under thirty? Because I can tell you right now that there was a time when homophobia in advertising was tolerated, even celebrated. If a…

Hey, Ivanka, how did you dye your hair that shade of piss?  

Answer the fucking question, you quivering, leaky-assed nelly bottom.  

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, bitch.  Tell me - what part of the world is Tooting (where Khan was born)??  Fuck off back to your trailer.

“Pizza sauce” doesn’t need to be cooked. In fact, I’d say that you shouldn’t cook it - or add fucking sugar. The one thing I would say right now is that this sauce would be too....thin for my taste. I like to use tomato paste and add water to thin it out to the preferred consistency. The tomato should sing lead and…

Never trust a man who took an oath of celibacy in a gown not even Pandora Boxx would wear.  

Teehee!  Remember, kids - make it a chocolate milkshake!

Why do I get the feeling that Allison would probably have been one of those attempting to peel l’oeuf with a peeler? *stare*

Yes, well, us Brits have our Shreddies knitted by nanas. *smug*

I watched Always Be My Maybe (purely because I’ve got the biggest crush on Daniel Dae Kim and Randall Park and sorry, people, they don’t suddenly get into a steamy wrestling session that ends with lots of, ahem, heavy petting) and I actually rather enjoyed it.  Park should be a much bigger star than what he is right…

Have some compassion for that fuckwit?  Excuse me whilst I check with Mummy Vinegar to see if Hell has frozen over yet...

I was just about to slap the OP across the borscht-hole for this. Pripyat (where the Chernobyl power plant is located) is in northern Ukraine, not Russia. Even then the range of accents would have been diverse, just like how it is in Western workplaces. There are distinct differences that even a non-Ukrainian speaker…

If you’re wanting to avoid that good old valley girl casual racism again, Megan, I’ll recommend that you realise that us Scots have over four hundred words for snow and fifty words for rain. (After all, it’s more socially-acceptable for Yanks to be racist about Scots and let’s not forget your casual racism towards the…

You can almost hear the twinks clicking their fingers in agreement (because god help them that some of them think clapping is too heteronormative...)

Oh, and for any wee trolly queens thinking of replying “LOLWUT?!” (seriously, expand your vocabulary, you fucking STI-sponges) allow me to ask you: how many times have you ground your well-fucked arse into the dance-floor to a Beyonce/Lil Kim/Nicki Minaj track? Yeah. Your hypocrisy is just like your skinny jeans: it…