Next time, throw blood/bleach/vinegar. Excuse me whilst I play the tiniest violin.

Well, isn’t he whiter than a bleached tampon? Fucking pool of anal discharge.

Katy, fuck off. Seriously, go find a storm drain and slither into it, you whinging quim.

Curse you and your rational logic! *shakes fist like an impotent blonde woman with tragic shorts on*

Summer, is it? Summer, honey, sit yourself down, and think.

Street corner?

The really bright colours that Brenda wears are a more modern thing (she did wear some outlandish things in the eighties, but that’s the decade that taste forgot and CFCs nearly annihilated the ozone layer) and were once claimed to be a direct result of the backlash against the Royal Family after the media-hog (aka…

Personally, I think Meghan’s gown was far more beautiful than Kate’s. It was less fussy, but much sleeker, more modern - and simultaneously, more traditional - than the confection Kate wore. I think the tiara choice was brilliant - for something nearly one hundred years old, the design is remarkably modern (but that…

Oh my god, the thing on the far right. Didn’t someone tell Chad that you should only wear a vest like that if you actually work out? Extra points though for the “derp” expression. Yes, you’re in Britain now! And yes, we speak English too (we originated the language!) and, gosh darn it, aren’t you the picture of failed…

We don’t refer to the white side of her family as “White Trash” over here. We’d refer to them as chavs or council scum or, at a pinch, UKIP supporters. And we’d pretty much ignore them until one of them twats themselves with something hard and metallic and/or flashes their vajayjay getting out of a taxi. I’m sure…

People. There is only appropriate response to this. That is...

Maybe the other tenants in the building felt threatened or scared by his actions? Not to mention the possibility of the building’s name being dragged through the mud.

I’m in Scotland, but I can be there by the weekend and I’ll bring fucking bagpipes to play at 3 am. Through his letterbox.

Why, oh why, oh why didn’t he get hit by a bus when he skipped off like that? Fucking scumbag.

For god’s sake, Travolta, just come out already. Also, get rid of the dead badger on your head, you twerp.

OMG, that is adorable. Where did you find it?

I remember, many many moons ago, that there was a girl in my college who fought off a would-be-rapist by gouging his face to fuck with her keys and then near-blinded him in one eye with her laser-pointer keyring and left him with lasting hearing problems by setting off a rape alarm right next to his ear. Apparently…

Oh, you know it. And hopefully the Youtubes drags her for it.

It’s hard to like an artist who starts off his tracks with the very Mariah-esque “ooh” and “uuuh” before they actually get to the lyrics.

I prefer using soap. I just feel cleaner for having used it. I don’t know if you guys Stateside have coal-tar soap but, dear god, that stuff is good. It comes in bright orange bar, has a rather nice smell and, because the bar can last a rather long time, is easily popped into a hockey-sock so you can bitch-slap the…