Oh god, that just made me howl with laughter. And, given that I’m off sick with a bloody painful migraine, I will exact my kitteny revenge on you soon. It may be this lunchtime, it may be next week - but rest assured, I will curse you with those knees...muahah.

I’d hold their handbag. I’d even provide snacks in case their energy runs low...

I used to get National Geographic every month when I was at college and then stopped buying it when I was in University. Reason being was how they portrayed cultures - not just, say, Ethiopian culture and Kazakh, but everyone. There was an article on Ireland and, having friends from the area featured, I was interested…

Ah, Ulysses. I still have the copy I bought in Paris in 1997 and still remember the rather bemused expression on my know-it-all classmate’s face when I pointed out that I had got it from Shakespeare and Company, not the Shakespeare and Company (insufferable little tit of man). Best memory of reading it, however, had…

Don’t forget the “Idealised View” either - that women must have perfect labia, that they must be as hair-free down there as possible, that they must have rock-hard tits and an arse you can boing change off.. There’s a degree of men and boys out there that assume that when you ladies whip your clothes off, you’re going…

James Deen needs to have a hot poker rammed up his shitter. That’s all I’m saying about that fuckwad.

Oh no, believe me, there’s more than a few horror stories regarding the gay porn scene, believe me. Apart from HIV scares and the resurgence of barebacking (why? Just why would you want to be that mindless and stupid!?) there are a few tales of sexual assaults and physical attacks. Hell, we’ve even got a website that…

I would have preferred if the show was called “Gilmore Girl” and focused solely and entirely on Lorelai. Rory can go stick her awful head in a deep-fryer and light it for all I care. Lorelai was always the more fun and interesting character.

I should really add that my sister and I went to a Catholic high school at a time when corporal punishment had been banned. That didn’t stop one grotesque little darling from slapping my sister for daring to wear lipstick. I don’t think the old cow expected the reciprocal punch from my sister, mind you...

And - in the case of the Magdalene Laundries in Ireland - abusing the fuck out of young women and still getting the fuck away with it...

Hell to the fucking yes, Uncle Phil is lightyears ahead. Plus, Aunt Viv taking off the earrings? Yup.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m not from the States, but I find ranch dressing utterly and unrepentantly repulsive. It’s the Becky of dressings, the “leave your money on the dresser and make sure no one sees you leaving” dressing. And it’s utterly flavourless. Give me a simple vinaigrette any day - I like to taste…

I never understand people who think like this. The “OMG my boss is a woman and worse, she’s not the same skin tone as me!” bullshit artists. Look, petals, the most important thing is that your boss is competent, approachable and can kick arse when required. The fact that your boss is female and not the same ethnicity…

God damn, but her outfit is gorgeous.

Hock makes a fantastic base for soups and stews. You just need to remember to boil it, then drain it, then refresh with new water to get rid of the horrific saltiness.

Ah, I would probably have put a small hamster or a bunny on a plate for it and backed away slowly...

You’re supposed to use your mind and levitate it to the desk, all the while chanting “ommm!”, donchaknow.

*applaud*

You can get ‘em on eBay for something like £20.00. Damned good little phones.

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand and a million times this. Women don’t owe this fucking cretin a fucking thing. Did we ever find out how many careers he destroyed, how many women he tormented and abused?