And what suburb of Cape Town do you hail from? Cleveland or Detroit? Sit yourself down, shut the fuck up and wank yourself into a better troll-state, you idiot.

And the same writing was on the wall for the blacks since 1865.

Binging With Babish is brilliant. Plus, his voice is sexy as all hell. Ahem.

‘“she might be considered “handsome”’

Nope. Jail the little fuckwit. Just throw her in jail and we’ll come back in five years to see if she’s still “Beautiful” (seriously, what? Are beauty standards that diluted by the Kardashians and Hadids of the world that we’re calling this Plain Jane beautiful?)

No, but I personally see someone typing rather impressively with one hand whilst the other clutches her pearls to the point of asphyxiation.

And this is why you shouldn’t let your drunken auntie sing at Christmas, kiddies. Seriously, how much tequila has she done?

One of these days he’ll give himself a stroke and I don’t mean of the sexy-naughty variety.

“Dude probably hasn’t seen the inside of a shower since the last time he got laid...” Fixed that for you. Oh, who am I kidding. He’s still a virgin.

It’s like a Munchkin was giving him a reach-around and got interrupted by the camera. Freakish little bastard of a man...

I’ve been told for years by a rather indignant wee Ontarian (she squeaks when furious. Tis hilarious) that Americans just cannot reproduce the gooey, deliciousness that is poutine. I’m right in saying that poutine is just fries smothered in gravy with curds? Why the hell do the Southern Canadians insist on fouling it…

I know you lot are saying Hope Hicks, but let’s cast some attention in the direction of Iwanka’s fuckboi, Jared. From the stories I’ve been told of his time at college, Jared was quite the pass-around bottom. Allegedly he’s had more action than a urinal...

I was going to say that the only redeeming feature of this film was the song by Roxette, but, well, Roxette. Yikes.

I’m with Cattrall. I don’t like SJP, I never have and she has a face like a sunburned foot.

There was plenty of inaccurate wanking over it from Beth Elderkin, who seems to have not read the book and understood the “whitewashing controversy” doesn’t actually apply to Altered Carbon (after all, this is a universe where the body you’re born with is akin to a car you inherited from your parents and can be…

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKETY-FUCK!? He plops frozen dairy-produce into her vajayjay?!

Fuck you, Tarantino. Fuck you a thousand times. Rape is rape. End of fucking discussion.

“Wait...it’s getting warm...oh crap!”

I’m a white male and believe me, it’s impossibly easy to get away with abusing people on Twitter. Twitter is the online version of a drunken frathouse or rugby club where Dorsey isn’t just that skinny white bitch who props himself up on three pillows to take it like a champ.

The original evil illegal immigrant!