I should really add that my sister and I went to a Catholic high school at a time when corporal punishment had been banned. That didn’t stop one grotesque little darling from slapping my sister for daring to wear lipstick. I don’t think the old cow expected the reciprocal punch from my sister, mind you...

And - in the case of the Magdalene Laundries in Ireland - abusing the fuck out of young women and still getting the fuck away with it...

Hell to the fucking yes, Uncle Phil is lightyears ahead. Plus, Aunt Viv taking off the earrings? Yup.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m not from the States, but I find ranch dressing utterly and unrepentantly repulsive. It’s the Becky of dressings, the “leave your money on the dresser and make sure no one sees you leaving” dressing. And it’s utterly flavourless. Give me a simple vinaigrette any day - I like to taste…

I never understand people who think like this. The “OMG my boss is a woman and worse, she’s not the same skin tone as me!” bullshit artists. Look, petals, the most important thing is that your boss is competent, approachable and can kick arse when required. The fact that your boss is female and not the same ethnicity…

God damn, but her outfit is gorgeous.

Hock makes a fantastic base for soups and stews. You just need to remember to boil it, then drain it, then refresh with new water to get rid of the horrific saltiness.

Ah, I would probably have put a small hamster or a bunny on a plate for it and backed away slowly...

You’re supposed to use your mind and levitate it to the desk, all the while chanting “ommm!”, donchaknow.

*applaud*

You can get ‘em on eBay for something like £20.00. Damned good little phones.

Yes, yes, yes, a thousand and a million times this. Women don’t owe this fucking cretin a fucking thing. Did we ever find out how many careers he destroyed, how many women he tormented and abused?

And what suburb of Cape Town do you hail from? Cleveland or Detroit? Sit yourself down, shut the fuck up and wank yourself into a better troll-state, you idiot.

And the same writing was on the wall for the blacks since 1865.

Binging With Babish is brilliant. Plus, his voice is sexy as all hell. Ahem.

‘“she might be considered “handsome”’

Nope. Jail the little fuckwit. Just throw her in jail and we’ll come back in five years to see if she’s still “Beautiful” (seriously, what? Are beauty standards that diluted by the Kardashians and Hadids of the world that we’re calling this Plain Jane beautiful?)

No, but I personally see someone typing rather impressively with one hand whilst the other clutches her pearls to the point of asphyxiation.

And this is why you shouldn’t let your drunken auntie sing at Christmas, kiddies. Seriously, how much tequila has she done?

One of these days he’ll give himself a stroke and I don’t mean of the sexy-naughty variety.