“Dude probably hasn’t seen the inside of a shower since the last time he got laid...” Fixed that for you. Oh, who am I kidding. He’s still a virgin.

It’s like a Munchkin was giving him a reach-around and got interrupted by the camera. Freakish little bastard of a man...

I’ve been told for years by a rather indignant wee Ontarian (she squeaks when furious. Tis hilarious) that Americans just cannot reproduce the gooey, deliciousness that is poutine. I’m right in saying that poutine is just fries smothered in gravy with curds? Why the hell do the Southern Canadians insist on fouling it…

I know you lot are saying Hope Hicks, but let’s cast some attention in the direction of Iwanka’s fuckboi, Jared. From the stories I’ve been told of his time at college, Jared was quite the pass-around bottom. Allegedly he’s had more action than a urinal...

I was going to say that the only redeeming feature of this film was the song by Roxette, but, well, Roxette. Yikes.

I’m with Cattrall. I don’t like SJP, I never have and she has a face like a sunburned foot.

There was plenty of inaccurate wanking over it from Beth Elderkin, who seems to have not read the book and understood the “whitewashing controversy” doesn’t actually apply to Altered Carbon (after all, this is a universe where the body you’re born with is akin to a car you inherited from your parents and can be…

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKETY-FUCK!? He plops frozen dairy-produce into her vajayjay?!

Fuck you, Tarantino. Fuck you a thousand times. Rape is rape. End of fucking discussion.

“Wait...it’s getting warm...oh crap!”

I’m a white male and believe me, it’s impossibly easy to get away with abusing people on Twitter. Twitter is the online version of a drunken frathouse or rugby club where Dorsey isn’t just that skinny white bitch who props himself up on three pillows to take it like a champ.

The original evil illegal immigrant!

Hahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahaha!

I don’t know what’s more arse-clenchingly awful - the music or her asinine little voice. Either way - kill it with fire, please.

She really did well, solo-wise. Northern Star was rather delightful.

Oh god, I forgot about the Quartet of Unholy Terror. The metallic bikini top! The overuse of mousse! That creepy laugh at 1:35! The unspeakable awfulness of the spoken-word section! And, not forgetting, the overuse of the water-reflection highlight! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Funny, knock-off shit is what Ivanka seems to do best of all...

She buried a voodoo doll in the garden. I fucking *love* her.

What happened on the ninth of November?

Seconded, thirded and fourthed this. My God, you idiots, don’t be fucking complacent and don’t do a fucking Stein or Bernie-bro again: vote to take back control. Us - that’s the rest of the world - are either looking at you in horror or laughing at you. Get your fucking shit together and vote the fuckers out.