I’m rather horrified by the fact that you guys seem to be cool with the idea of “police officers” wearing combat gear and camouflage. If that happened over here, we’d tear our MPs a new arsehole in a second. What the actual kitteny fuck, America? When did you prats become so fucking fearful and insular, eh?

There’s nothing better than preparing a cup (or a pot) of tea. Unlike coffee - which, for most of you lot out there, involves nothing more complex than spooning some freeze-dried shite into a mug and then splashing on hot water - you need to make sure the water’s not too hot, then you need to add either the right…

How nice to see her wearing whisks for earrings.

Cleveland Hellmouths?

Has anyone ever seen that woman smile? No, seriously, does she always have a face like a cat’s arse in winter or can she crack a grin?

Ladies. Do you want to shag a man with a face like a melted sex-doll caught in a vortex of shite and verucas? Then hop on over and you can have that red hot specimen of manhood, free of charge! (Caution: we cannot guarantee that you won’t wake up the next day with a severe case of the itchies and/or a burning…

Has anyone mentioned the now-classic RuPaul’s Drag Race “BITCH, I’M FROM CHICAGO!” No? Pah.

Such a shame we can’t get him chemically-castrated as well. Mind you, I’d be happy to throw that bastard into a cell with no windows and leave him there to rot. Fuck you, Larry, fuck you to infinity.

I’ve always said that if the bombs fell, I’d face towards the blast and let it do with me what it wants. They always say that those who would survive a nuclear holocaust would be the unlucky ones. Add in the fact that my country - the UK - would pretty much be obliterated in a nuclear exchange.

Couple of things stood out for me. Yes, the response she got was a tad unprofessional - but then, the way she approached the White Moose was equally, if not more, unprofessional.