Uhhh… stay outta Riverdale.

Man's Best Friend… Jerry, I want something like that on my tombstone.

Hey, Vern. Help me get my head out of this toilet.

Your fingers are so slender, so feminine. They're far too tapered for the ball you are using. You need something lighter. More delicate.

My spidey sense is tingling. Anyone call for a webslinger?

Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?

This creamed corn tastes like creamed crap.

It's so thick!

I'm seeing double… four Krusty's!

The studio sent me to talk to you, being a former child star myself, and the number one box office draw from 1939 to 1940.

He went from stinkin' rich to just plain stinkin'

Like ya know… whatever.

Ah, yes. An Incredible Hulk melon baller.

Won't somebody please think of the children!

That's a typo.

I'm Anoop, you racist cracker!

Hey, it's great to be back at the Apollo Theater and…

We're wasting more energy than Ricky Martin's girlfriend.

Should've asked them to hurl some bacon. Then maybe I could have had a decent breakfast for once.

Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that's crazy talk!