When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought
it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it
was dark and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.

Lisa, get away from that jazz man.

I wanted to do something to help that boy. So I called my good friend Sting.

Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?

I believe it was a boking accident.

Miss Hoover, there's a dog in the vent.

Pass me a hunk of co-pilot

Okay, what's your brand?

Hey! It's great to be back at the Apollo theater and… "KKK"? That's not good.

No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords.

No, Flanders. It's, uh… a meeting of gay witches for abortion. You wouldn't be interested.

You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh…Christianity.

Look at this Bible I just got… 15 bucks. And talk about a preachy book. Everybody's a sinner, except for this guy.

Paint my fence!

I gave him a couple of blintzes to paint my fence but he never did it.

Duuuh, stay outta Riverdale!

Homer, of all the crazy ideas you've had this one ranks somewhere in the middle.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security. That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting. Uh huh. Yeah, it's a shame, I know, but…well, try and have a merry Christmas. They weren't home, uh huh. But I left a message on their answering machine, that's right.

Shh! You want to get sued?

I could ne'er have shot Burns. It's impossible for me to fire a pistol
If you check me medical records, you'll see I have a crippling arthritis
in me index fingers. I got it from Space Invaders in 1977.