Oh, the pain! The pain! The pain of it all!

♪ You're like X-Men number three in a Mylar bag ♪

I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors and those Disney
sleaze balls shut me down. I said "Look, I'll change the logo, put
Mickey's pants back on." Some guys you just can't reason with.

But, Marge, Alan Thicke is throwing knives at Ricardo Montalban.

Our next question goes to Eleanor Abernathy, also known as the Crazy Cat Lady.

Anyway, it all happened during that magical summer of 1985. A maturing Joe Piscopo left Saturday Night Live to conquer Hollywood.

Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this.

That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat.

I'm doing the Conan O'Brien show and I wanna have some intelligent stuff to talk about.

And the Oscar goes to… George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit by Football.

Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun?! Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you?! Except at that guy who made sound effects.
( blubbering Doppler effect)
( muffled zooming)
( blows raspberry)
Honk, honk!

♪ I DIED IN THIRTY DAYS! ♪

♪ YOU WON'T FIND OUR FACES ON DOLLARS OR ON CENTS ♪
♪ THERE'S TAYLOR, THERE'S TYLER ♪
♪ THERE'S FILLMORE AND THERE'S HAYES ♪

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it
ends. Well, I say there are some things we don't want to know.
Important things.

No.

Awww. This isn't gonna be about Jesus, is it?

George Burns was right. Show business is a hideous bitch goddess.

Don't you even know dignity when you see it?

I get me brain medicines from the national 'ealth!

♪ There was nothing in Al Capone's vault ♪
♪ But it wasn't Geraldo's fault ♪