Probably misses his old glasses.

Oh, no. Bette Midler!

I lost to Channel Ocho. What the hell is that?

So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time.

The "US Festival"! Geez! It was sponsored by the guy from Apple Computers.

This isn't a very happy birthday for Rex Banner.

So, what will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?

If I were a truant boy out for a good time, I'd be right here— the Springfield Natural History Museum. Why, there are no children here at the 4-H Club either. Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong.

No, Mr. Simpson! That's sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud the whole country'll hear.

Welcome to Fox News: your voice for evil. Tonight we'll be interviewing the top two candidates. For Springfield's 24th Congressional District. For the Republicans, beloved children's entertainer, Krusty the clown… And for the Democrats, this guy.

Make every day a celebration of your love. Surprise her with a pasta salad. Put a mini-beret on your wang.

He's not just some guy, Marge. He's a carny, and part of a noble tradition. Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway. And though they may be ratlike in appearance they are truly kings among men.

Ow, my freakin' ears!

The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.

You don't win friends with salad.

Mr. President, your welfare proposal is nothing but a lot of technical jargon and partisan rhetoric

Arr, a couple of these and your first mate turns into Reese Witherspoon.

When I grow up I want to be in the Betty Ford Center

Go ahead, throw your vote away!

MY SPIDEY SENSE IS TINGLING. ANYBODY CALL FOR A WEB-SLINGER?