This corn doesn't look so big.

I'm still not among the 100 most popular billionaires. I'm behind Adam Sandler for God's sake.

Look, I've been practicing: I made a pigeon-rat.

Would you like to buy some Itchy and Scratchy Money?

Animation is built on plagiarism! If it weren't for someone plagiarizing The Honeymooners, we wouldn't have The Flintstones. If someone hadn't ripped off Sergeant Bilko, there'd be no Top Cat. Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear? Hah! Andy Griffith, Edward G. Robinson, Art Carney.

A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a harpoon, or, uh… or an alligator. You just need more education on the subject. Tell you what - you come with me to an NRA meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we'll argue some more.

The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flak jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an iron-on sporting the Mad slogan "Up With Mini-Skirts". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it.

Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery… the ducks… were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people say, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is…

Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone. I wanna see their drawings for the "New Kids on the Bleech".

You killed Ron Howard!

When Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it’d be fun and exciting. You know, like that movie: Spaceballs. But instead, it’s been painful and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.

Foul temptress! I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!

Pfft! All the best bands are affiliated with Satan.

We have searched every square inch of this base and all we have found is porno, porno, porno!

Um… let me have one of those porno magazines.

No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

Kudos for bringing the public back to the Republican Party. It's high
time people realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny Hatemongers and
Charlie Biblethumps and even—God forbid—George Bushes.

Moving on to new business, what act of unmitigated evil shall the Republican Party undertake this week?

Now, your case requires someone who understands the twisted mind of a murderer and I know just where to find him.

Let the bears pay the Bear Tax! I pay the Homer tax!